Lincolniana; Or, The Humors of Uncle Abe — John Shaqi
Lincolniana; Or, The Humors of Uncle AbeAdderup, Andrew
General
Lincolniana; Or, The Humors of Uncle Abe
Adderup, Andrew
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
At one of Uncle Abe's levees recently, among the Company was a
Pennsylvania Avenue tailor whom Abe recognized but could not name. "My
dear Sir} I remember your face, but I forget your name," said Uncle Abe.
The knight of the needle whispered confidentially into Uncle Abe's ear.
"I made your breeches." Uncle Abe took him most affectionately by the
hand and exclaimed enthusiastically "Major Breeches, I am happy to meet
you at the White House!"
A Dry Drop.
A refugee from Richmond was telling Uncle Abe of the sad state of
affairs reigning there. Among other things he said liquor was so scarce
that the rebel President himself could scarcely get a drop to drink.
"He ought not to have a drop _to drink_ in this world or the next," said
Uncle Abe.
"You are rather severe," replied the refugee.
"Well," said Uncle Abe, "if you think a drop would do him good, let it
be a drop from the scaffold."
Uncle Abe as a Physiognomist.
While the western governors were in conversation the other day, one of
them asked him if he remembered a certain Major of the ------ Illinois
regiment.
Uncle Abe replied that "he could'nt say that he did." The gentleman
who addressed him then tried to jog the executive memory a little by
mentioning a circumstance or two connected with the Major's history.
Finally Uncle Abe remembered him very well--which fact he stated in
the following graphic language: "O yes, I know who you mean. _It's that
turkey egg faced fellow that you'd think did'nt know as much as a last
year's bird's nest_." This was the very individual referred to. It will
be seen that Uncle Abe has other fortes than statesmanship--and that of
a physiognoist is one of them.
The Concrete vs. the Abstract.
Dick Yates, the jolly Governor of the Suckers, tells that he called
on Uncle Abe one morning when he was trying to get the 88,000
"Hundredazers" accepted, and that during their interview Uncle Abe
remarked: "Yates, I'll tell you the difference between the concrete and
the abstract. When the Senate passed a resolution requesting me not to
appoint any more Brigadiers, as the vacancies were all full, that's the
concrete. But when a Senator comes up here with a long petition and a
longer face, requesting me to make a brigadier out of some scallawag of
a friend of his, as it happens every day--I call that the abstract."
Symptoms of Civilization.
Uncle Abe and his chums were wrecked and swamped once on a trip to
New Orleans, and having waded ashore, were in search of shelter and
refreshment, without much prospect of success, in a thickly timbered
bottom. They had traveled through the forest a long distance, and were
in despair of finding any human habitation, when they discovered a negro
hanging on the projecting limb of a tree. "The joy," said Abe, when
telling the adventure, "which this cheering view excited, cannot be
described, for it convinced us that we were in a _civilized country._"
Uncle Abe goes into Partnership.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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