The lady screamed and ran; Uncle Abe rushed to the rescue from the next room, the waiters joined and a small scene ensued, much to the amusement of all concerned. The poulticed gentleman had indiscreetly left a light in his room, and this lured the lady from her path. Uncle Abe was so amused and excited by the mistake that he quite forgot his pains; but early the next morning, with his wife and trunks, left for Springfield, 111. The poulticed man still retains the handkerchief--a beautiful cambric--with the lady's name on it, the initials of Frances Amelia E. Todd. Uncle Abe as School Superintendent. When Uncle Abe kept grocery on the Sangamon he was elected as School Superintendent out of his district. It was his duty to examine the applicant teachers on mathematics; which he once did in this wise in his grocery store. "If two pigs weigh twenty pounds how much will a large hog weigh." "Jump into the scales," said the weilder of the birch, "and I'll soon tell you." Abe did not examine him further in mathematics. Uncle Abe's Nose. Uncle Abe being asked once why he walked so crookedly? said, "Oh my nose, you see, is crooked, and I have to follow it!" Take Away the Fowls. After Uncle Abe had studied law some time and whilst travelling in the Prairie country in Knox County, Illinois, he stopped at the house of Mrs. Galt, an old Scotch lady whose husband was largely engaged in wool growing. Abe at this time was beginning to be proud of his learning, especially of his pronunciation of English. Mrs. Galt when dinner was over desired the servant in waiting to take away the fowls, which she, (as is sometimes done in Scotland), pronounced _fools_, "I presume, madam, you mean fowls" said Abe rather sententiously. "Very well, be it so," said Mrs. Galt; "take away the _fowls_, but let the _fool_ remain!" Uncle Abe Well Fed. Old Whitey, Abe's school master, said to him angrily one day, "Abraham you are better fed than taught!" "Should think I was," said Abe, "as I feed myself and you teach me!" Uncle Abe says there is a good deal of the devil in the Rebels. They sometimes fight like him, frequently run like him, and always lie like him. A Man of Means. Uncle Abe was asked by a client whether his neighbor Brown was "a man of means." "Well I reckon he ought to be," said Abe, "for he is just the meanest man in Springfield." Call Again. When Uncle Abe was taken sick recently, and Mrs Lincoln had sent for the doctor; Uncle Abe, having an aversion to physic, said, he had better call another time, as he was too sick then to joke with him. Uncle Abe Swapped when a Baby. Abe when asked whether he could account for his excessive homeliness said "when I was two months old I was the handsomest child in Kentuck, but my nigger nurse swapped me off for another boy just to please a friend who was going down the river whose child was rather plain looking." Hit at Antietam.