Another story of Uncle Abe, too good to be lost, has leaked out. It seems he had accompanied a young lady to one of the hospitals in the capitol where the sympathizing creature, as in duty bound became interested in a wounded soldier. To all her inquiries as to the location of the wound, however, she could only get one reply, thus: "My good fellow where were you hit!" "At Antietam." "Yes, but where did the bullet strike you?" "At Antietam." "But where did it hit you!" "At Antietam." Becoming discouraged, she deputized Uncle Abe to prosecute the inquiry, which he did successfully Upon his rejoining her, she was more curious than, ever, when the President, taking both her hands in his said in his most impressive style. "My dear girl, the ball that hit _him_, would not have injured _you_." A Poor Crop. An old acquaintance of Uncle Abe's called upon him a short time since with the view to getting hold of a contract. Uncle Abe told him that contracts were not what they were in Cameron's time. "In fact," said he, "they remind me now of a piece of meadow land on the Sangamon bottoms during a drouth." "How was that?" said the Sucker--"Why," said Abe, looking rather quizical, "the grass was so short that they had to lather before they could mow it." Handy in Case of Emergencies. During the fall of 1863, Uncle Abe was riding on the Virginia side of the Potomac, between Arlington Heights and Alexandria, accompanied by Dr. N-------- of New Jersey. Passing the huge earth-work fortifications, the Doctor observed: "Mr. President, I have never yet been enabled to discover the utility of constructing and maintaining those forts. What is your opinion about them?" "Well doctor," replied Uncle Abe, "you are a medical man! and I will ask you a question in the line of your profession. Can you tell me the use of a man's nipples?" "No I can't" said the doctor "Well I can tell you," said Uncle Abe,--"They would be mighty handy if he happened to have a child." Value of a Reputation. A client of Uncle Abe's was tried for stealing, in Springfield, Illinois, when it was satisfactorily proven that he had acknowledged the theft to several persons. Uncle Abe argued in behalf of his client that he was such an abominable liar that no one could believe him and the jury ought not to. The judge charged against the prisoner, but to his astonishment the jury brought in a verdict that the accused was entirely unworthy of belief; and he was therefore acquitted. Didn't Like the Name. A young U. S. Officer being indicted at Chicago, for an assault on an aged gentleman, Uncle Abe began to open the case thus: "this is an indictment against a soldier for assaulting an old man." "Sir," indignantly interrupted the defendant, "I am no soldier, I am an officer!" "I beg your pardon," said Abe, grinning blandly; "then, gentlemen of the jury, this is an indictment against _an officer_, who is _no soldier_, for assaulting an old man." Uncle Abe's Good Bye.