One of her few certainties had been the discovery that, while small
truths might be had from others, all that intimately and deeply
concerned her was beyond questioning and advice. The importance of her
attractiveness, for example, which seemed the base of her entire being,
was completely out of accord with the accepted standard of values
for middle-aged women. Other things, called moral and spiritual, she
inferred, should take up her days and thoughts. There was a course of
discipline--exactly like exercises in the morning--for the preparation
of the willingness to die.
But such an attitude was eternally beyond her; she repudiated it with
a revolt stringing every nerve indignantly tense. She had had, on the
whole, singularly little from life but her fine body; it had always been
the temple and altar of her service, and no mere wordy reassurance could
now repay her for its swift or gradual destruction. The latter, except
for accident, would be her fate; she was remarkably sound. In her social
adventures, the balls to which, without Arnaud, she occasionally went,
she was morbid in her sensitive dread of discovering, through a waning
admiration, that she was faded.
It would be impossible to spend more care on her person than she had in
the past; but that was unrelenting. Linda was inexorable in her demands
on the establishments that made her suits and dresses. The slightest
imperfection of fit exasperated her; and she regarded the endless change
of fashions with contempt. This same shifting, she observed, occurred
not only in women's clothes but in the women themselves.
Linda remembered her mother, eternal in gaiety, but very obviously
different from her in states of mind affecting her appearance. She was
unable to define the change; but it was unmistakable--Stella Condon
seemed a little old-fashioned. When now, to Lowrie's wife, Linda was
unmistakably out-of-date. Lowrie, fast accomplishing all that had been
predicted for him, had married a girl incomprehensible to his mother.
Observing this later feminine development she had the baffled feeling of
inspecting a creature of a new order.
To Linda, Jean Tynedale, now a Hallet, seemed harder than ever her own
famous coldness had succeeded in being. This came mostly from Jean's
imposing education; there had been, in addition to the politest of
finishing schools, college--a woman's concern, Bryn Mawr--and then
post-graduate honors in a noteworthy university. She was entirely
addressed, in a concrete way, to the abstract problems of social
progress and hygiene; and, under thirty, the animating spirit, as well
as financial support, of an incredible number of Settlements and allied
undertakings. She spoke crisply before civic and other clubs; even, in
the interest of suffrage, addressing nondescript audiences from a box on
the street.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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