Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
General
Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
American wit and humor
Take them editors thet's crowin'
Like a cockerel three months old--
Don't ketch any on 'em goin',
Though they _be_ so blasted bold;
_Ain't_ they a prime lot o' fellers?
'Fore they think on't they will sprout
(Like a peach thet's got the yellers),
With the meanness bustin' out.
Wal, go 'long to help 'em stealin'
Bigger pens to cram with slaves,
Help the men thet's ollers dealin'
Insults on your fathers' graves;
Help the strong to grind the feeble,
Help the many agin the few,
Help the men that call your people
Witewashed slaves an' peddlin' crew?
Massachusetts, God forgive her,
She's a-kneelin' with the rest,
She, thet ough' to ha' clung ferever
In her grand old eagle-nest;
She thet ough' to stand so fearless
Wile the wracks are round her hurled,
Holdin' up a beacon peerless
To the oppressed of all the world!
Hain't they sold your colored seamen?
Hain't they made your env'ys wiz?
_Wut'll_ make ye act like freemen?
_Wut'll_ git your dander riz?
Come, I'll tell ye wut I'm thinkin'
Is our dooty in this fix,
They'd ha' done 't ez quick ez winkin'
In the days o' seventy-six.
Clang the bells in every steeple,
Call all true men to disown
The tradoocers of our people,
The enslavers o' their own;
Let our dear old Bay State proudly
Put the trumpet to her mouth,
Let her ring this messidge loudly
In the ears of all the South--
"I'll return ye good fer evil
Much ez we frail mortils can,
But I wun't go help the Devil
Makin' man the cuss o' man;
Call me coward, call me traiter,
Jest ez suits your mean idees--
Here I stand a tyrant-hater,
An' the friend o' God an' Peace!"
Ef I'd _my_ way I hed ruther
We should go to work an' part--
They take one way, we take t'other--
Guess it wouldn't break my heart;
Man hed ought to put asunder
Them thet God has noways jined;
An' I shouldn't gretly wonder
Ef there's thousands o' my mind.
--_Bigelow Papers._
CHARLES GODFREY LELAND
BALLAD
Der noble Ritter Hugo
Von Schwillensaufenstein,
Rode out mit shpeer and helmet
Und he coom to de panks of de Rhine
Und oop dere rose a meer maid,
Vot hadn't got nodings on,
Und she say, "Oh, Ritter Hugo,
Vhere you goes mit yourself alone?"
Und he says, "I rides in de creenwood
Mit helmet und mit shpeer,
Till I cooms into em Gasthuas,
Und dere I trinks some beer."
Und den outshpoke de maiden
Vot hadn't got nodings on:
"I ton't dink mooch of beoplesh
Dat goes mit demselfs alone.
"You'd petter coom down in de wasser,
Vere dere's heaps of dings to see,
Und have a shplendid tinner
Und drafel along mit me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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