Comedy plays; Courts and courtiers -- Drama; Navarre (Kingdom) -- Drama; Princesses -- Drama
DUMAINE.
For the latter end of his name.
BEROWNE.
For the ass to the Jude? Give it him. Jud-as, away!
HOLOFERNES.
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
BOYET.
A light for Monsieur Judas! It grows dark; he may stumble.
[_Exit Holofernes._]
PRINCESS.
Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
Enter Armado, the Braggart, as Hector.
BEROWNE.
Hide thy head, Achilles. Here comes Hector in arms.
DUMAINE.
Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.
KING.
Hector was but a Trojan in respect of this.
BOYET.
But is this Hector?
DUMAINE.
I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
LONGAVILLE.
His leg is too big for Hector’s.
DUMAINE.
More calf, certain.
BOYET.
No, he is best endued in the small.
BEROWNE.
This cannot be Hector.
DUMAINE.
He’s a god or a painter, for he makes faces.
ARMADO.
_The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift_—
DUMAINE.
A gilt nutmeg.
BEROWNE.
A lemon.
LONGAVILLE.
Stuck with cloves.
DUMAINE.
No, cloven.
ARMADO.
Peace!
_The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;
A man so breathed that certain he would fight, yea,
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower_—
DUMAINE.
That mint.
LONGAVILLE.
That columbine.
ARMADO.
Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
LONGAVILLE.
I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.
DUMAINE.
Ay, and Hector’s a greyhound.
ARMADO.
The sweet war-man is dead and rotten. Sweet chucks, beat not the bones
of the buried. When he breathed, he was a man. But I will forward with
my device. [_To the Princess_.] Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense
of hearing.
PRINCESS.
Speak, brave Hector; we are much delighted.
ARMADO.
I do adore thy sweet Grace’s slipper.
BOYET.
Loves her by the foot.
DUMAINE.
He may not by the yard.
ARMADO.
_This Hector far surmounted Hannibal.
The party is gone_—
COSTARD.
Fellow Hector, she is gone; she is two months on her way.
ARMADO.
What meanest thou?
COSTARD.
Faith, unless you play the honest Trojan, the poor wench is cast away.
She’s quick; the child brags in her belly already. ’Tis yours.
ARMADO.
Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? Thou shalt die.
COSTARD.
Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is quick by him, and
hanged for Pompey that is dead by him.
DUMAINE.
Most rare Pompey!
BOYET.
Renowned Pompey!
BEROWNE.
Greater than “Great”! Great, great, great Pompey! Pompey the Huge!
DUMAINE.
Hector trembles.
BEROWNE.
Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! Stir them on, stir them on!
DUMAINE.
Hector will challenge him.
BEROWNE.
Ay, if he have no more man’s blood in his belly than will sup a flea.
ARMADO.
By the north pole, I do challenge thee.
COSTARD.
I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man. I’ll slash, I’ll do
it by the sword. I bepray you, let me borrow my arms again.
DUMAINE.
Room for the incensed Worthies!
COSTARD.
I’ll do it in my shirt.
DUMAINE.
Most resolute Pompey!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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