KING. [_Reads_.] _So it is, besieged with sable-coloured melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to walk. The time when? About the sixth hour, when beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down to that nourishment which is called supper. So much for the time when. Now for the ground which? Which, I mean, I walked upon. It is ycleped thy park. Then for the place, where? Where, I mean, I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous event that draweth from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest. But to the place where? It standeth north-north-east and by east from the west corner of thy curious-knotted garden. There did I see that low-spirited swain, that base minnow of thy mirth—_ COSTARD. Me? KING. [_Reads_.] _That unlettered small-knowing soul—_ COSTARD. Me? KING. [_Reads_.] _That shallow vassal—_ COSTARD. Still me? KING. [_Reads_.] _Which, as I remember, hight Costard—_ COSTARD. O me! KING. [_Reads_.] _Sorted and consorted, contrary to thy established proclaimed edict and continent canon, which with, O, with—but with this I passion to say wherewith—_ COSTARD. With a wench. KING. [_Reads_.] _With a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a woman. Him, I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on, have sent to thee, to receive the meed of punishment, by thy sweet Grace’s officer, Antony Dull, a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and estimation._ DULL. Me, an’t shall please you; I am Antony Dull. KING. [_Reads_.] _For Jaquenetta, so is the weaker vessel called which I apprehended with the aforesaid swain, I keep her as a vessel of thy law’s fury, and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted and heartburning heat of duty, Don Adriano de Armado._ BEROWNE. This is not so well as I looked for, but the best that ever I heard. KING. Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say you to this? COSTARD. Sir, I confess the wench. KING. Did you hear the proclamation? COSTARD. I do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it. KING. It was proclaimed a year’s imprisonment to be taken with a wench. COSTARD. I was taken with none, sir. I was taken with a damsel. KING. Well, it was proclaimed “damsel”. COSTARD. This was no damsel neither, sir; she was a virgin. KING. It is so varied too, for it was proclaimed “virgin”. COSTARD. If it were, I deny her virginity. I was taken with a maid. KING. This maid will not serve your turn, sir. COSTARD. This maid will serve my turn, sir. KING. Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast a week with bran and water. COSTARD. I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.