Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
Your little Museum, I hear, has been totally destroyed with all its
contents by fire. I have to remind you therefore that the mittens
of her late Majesty Queen Charlotte were there on loan, as lent by
me. No equivalent in money can really make up for the loss of so
irreplaceable a relic, but I should be glad to know, as soon as
possible, what compensation you propose to offer me.
The figure that has been suggested to me is £50, and an early
cheque would oblige.
Faithfully yours,
CORNELIA AMBERMERE.
A dead silence succeeded, broken by Mrs. Boucher as soon as her
indignation allowed her to speak.
“I would sooner,” she said, “go to law about it, and appeal if it went
against us, and carry it up to the House of Lords, than pay £50 for
those rubbishy things. Why the whole contents of the Museum weren’t
worth more than--well, leave it at that.”
The figure at which the contents of the Museum had been insured floated
into everybody’s mind, and it was more dignified to “leave it at that,”
and not let the imagination play over the probable end of Mrs. Boucher’s
sentence.
The meeting entirely concurred, but nobody, not even Robert, knew what
to do next.
“I propose offering her £10,” said Georgie at last, “and I call that
handsome.”
“Five,” said Daisy, like an auction reversed.
Robert rubbed the top of his head, as was his custom in perplexity.
“Difficult to know what to do,” he said. “I don’t know of any standard
of valuation for the old clothes of deceased queens.”
“Two,” said Mrs. Boucher, continuing the auction, “and that’s a fancy
price. What would Pug have been, I wonder, if we’re asked fifty pounds
for two old mittens. A pound each, I say, and that’s a monstrous price.
And if you want to know who suggested to Lady Ambermere to ask fifty, I
can tell you, and her name was Cornelia Ambermere.”
This proposal of Lady Ambermere’s rather damped the secret exaltation of
the Committee, though it stirred a pleasant feeling of rage. Fifty
pounds was a paltry sum compared to what they would receive from the
Insurance Company, but the sense of the attempt to impose on them caused
laudable resentment. They broke up, to consider separately what was to
be done, and to poke about the ashes of the Museum, all feeling very
rich. The rest of Riseholme were there, of course, also poking about,
Piggy and Goosie skipping over smouldering heaps of ash, and Mrs.
Antrobus, and the Vicar and the Curate, and Mr. Stratton. Only Lucia was
absent, and Georgie, after satisfying himself that nothing whatever
remained of his sketches, popped in to The Hurst.
Lucia was in the music room reading the paper. She had heard, of course,
about the total destruction of the Museum, that ridiculous invention of
Daisy and Abfou, but not a shadow of exultation betrayed itself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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