Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Lucia (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; Women -- England -- Fiction
While she waited for this, Daisy Quantock was busy, like everybody else
in the village on this beautiful afternoon of spring, with her garden,
hacking about with a small but destructive fork in her flower-beds. She
was a gardener of the ruthless type, and went for any small green thing
that incautiously showed a timid spike above the earth, suspecting it of
being a weed. She had had a slight difference with the professional
gardener who had hitherto worked for her on three afternoons during the
week, and had told him that his services were no longer required. She
meant to do her gardening herself this year, and was confident that a
profusion of beautiful flowers and a plethora of delicious vegetables
would be the result. At the end of her garden path was a barrow of rich
manure, which she proposed, when she had finished the slaughter of the
innocents, to dig into the depopulated beds. On the other side of her
paling her neighbour Georgie Pillson was rolling his strip of lawn, on
which during the summer he often played croquet on a small scale.
Occasionally they shouted remarks to each other, but as they got more
and more out of breath with their exertions the remarks got fewer. Mrs.
Quantock’s last question had been “What do you do with slugs, Georgie?”
and George had panted out, “Pretend you don’t see them.”
Mrs. Quantock had lately grown rather stout owing to a diet of sour
milk, which with plenty of sugar was not palatable; but sour milk and
pyramids of raw vegetables had quite stopped all the symptoms of
consumption which the study of a small but lurid medical manual had
induced. To-day she had eaten a large but normal lunch in order to test
the merits of her new cook, who certainly was a success, for her husband
had gobbled up his food with great avidity instead of turning it over
and over with his fork as if it was hay. In consequence stoutness,
surfeit, and so much stooping had made her feel rather giddy, and she
was standing up to recover, wondering if this giddiness was a symptom of
something dire, when de Vere, for such was the incredible name of her
parlour-maid, came down the steps from the dining-room with a note in
her hand. So Mrs. Quantock hastily took off her gardening gloves of
stout leather, and opened it.
There was a sentence of formal thanks for her sympathy which Mrs. Lucas
immensely prized, and then followed these ridiculous words:
It has been a terrible blow to my poor Pepino and myself. We
trusted that Auntie Amy might have been spared us for a few years
yet.
Ever, dear Daisy, your sad
LUCIA.
And not a word about expectations!... Lucia’s dear Daisy crumpled up the
absurd note, and said “Rubbish,” so loud that Georgie Pillson in the
next garden thought he was being addressed.
“What’s that?” he said.
“Georgie, come to the fence a minute,” said Mrs. Quantock. “I want to
speak to you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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