He was not, however, wholly prepared for what happened next. The man in
green, riding the frail topmost bough like a witch on a very risky
broomstick, reached up and rent the black hat from its airy nest of
twigs. It had been broken across a heavy bough in the first burst of
its passage, a tangle of branches in torn and scored and scratched it
in every direction, a clap of wind and foliage had flattened it like a
concertina; nor can it be said that the obliging gentleman with the
sharp nose showed any adequate tenderness for its structure when he
finally unhooked it from its place. When he had found it, however, his
proceedings were by some counted singular. He waved it with a loud
whoop of triumph, and then immediately appeared to fall backwards off
the tree, to which, however, he remained attached by his long strong
legs, like a monkey swung by his tail. Hanging thus head downwards
above the unhelmed Warner, he gravely proceeded to drop the battered
silk cylinder upon his brows. “Every man a king,” explained the
inverted philosopher, “every hat (consequently) a crown. But this is a
crown out of heaven.”
And he again attempted the coronation of Warner, who, however, moved
away with great abruptness from the hovering diadem; not seeming,
strangely enough, to wish for his former decoration in its present
state.
“Wrong, wrong!” cried the obliging person hilariously. “Always wear
uniform, even if it’s shabby uniform! Ritualists may always be untidy.
Go to a dance with soot on your shirt-front; but go with a shirt-front.
Huntsman wears old coat, but old pink coat. Wear a topper, even if it’s
got no top. It’s the symbol that counts, old cock. Take your hat,
because it is your hat after all; its nap rubbed all off by the bark,
dears, and its brim not the least bit curled; but for old sakes’ sake
it is still, dears, the nobbiest tile in the world.”
Speaking thus, with a wild comfortableness, he settled or smashed the
shapeless silk hat over the face of the disturbed physician, and fell
on his feet among the other men, still talking, beaming and breathless.
“Why don’t they make more games out of wind?” he asked in some
excitement. “Kites are all right, but why should it only be kites? Why,
I thought of three other games for a windy day while I was climbing
that tree. Here’s one of them: you take a lot of pepper—”
“I think,” interposed Moon, with a sardonic mildness, “that your games
are already sufficiently interesting. Are you, may I ask, a
professional acrobat on a tour, or a travelling advertisement of Sunny
Jim? How and why do you display all this energy for clearing walls and
climbing trees in our melancholy, but at least rational, suburbs?”
The stranger, so far as so loud a person was capable of it, appeared to
grow confidential.
“Well, it’s a trick of my own,” he confessed candidly. “I do it by
having two legs.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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