England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
“Only two of ’em did it though, for Harry, who was a powerful,
ugly-tempered chap, swore he’d do all sorts o’ dreadful things to us if
we didn’t keep well and hearty, an’ all ’cept these two did. One of
’em, Mike Rafferty, laid up with a swelling on his ribs, which I knew
myself he ’ad ’ad for fifteen years, and the other chap had paralysis.
I never saw a man so reely happy as the skipper was. He was up an down
with his medicines and his instruments all day long, and used to make
notes of the cases in a big pocket-book, and read ’em to the second
mate at mealtimes.
“The fo’c’sle had been turned into hospital about a week, an’ I was on
deck doing some odd job or the other, when the cook comes up to me
pulling a face as long as a fiddle.
“‘Nother invalid,’ ses he; ‘fust mate’s gone stark, staring mad!’
“‘Mad?’ ses I.
“‘Yes,’ ses he. ‘He’s got a big basin in the galley, an’ he’s laughing
like a hyener an’ mixing bilge-water an’ ink, an’ paraffin an’ butter
an’ soap an’ all sorts o’ things up together. The smell’s enough to
kill a man; I’ve had to come away.’
“Curious-like, I jest walked up to the galley an’ puts my ’ed in, an’
there was the mate as the cook said, smiling all over his face, and
ladling some thick sticky stuff into a stone bottle.
“‘How’s the pore sufferers, sir?’ ses he, stepping out of the galley
jest as the skipper was going by.
“‘They’re very bad; but I hope for the best,” ses the skipper, looking
at him hard. ‘I’m glad to see you’ve turned a bit more feeling.’
“‘Yes, sir,’ ses the mate. ‘I didn’t think so at fust, but I can see
now them chaps is all very ill. You’ll s’cuse me saying it, but I don’t
quite approve of your treatment.’
“I thought the skipper would ha’ bust.
“‘My treatment?’ ses he. ‘My treatment? What do you know about it?’
“‘You’re treating ’em wrong, sir,’ ses the mate. ‘I have here’ (patting
the jar) ‘a remedy which ’ud cure them all if you’d only let me try
it.’
“‘Pooh!’ ses the skipper. ‘One medicine cure all diseases! The old
story. What is it? Where’d you get it from?’ ses he.
“‘I brought the ingredients aboard with me,’ ses the mate. ‘It’s a
wonderful medicine discovered by my grandmother, an’ if I might only
try it I’d thoroughly cure them pore chaps.’
“‘Rubbish!’ ses the skipper.
“‘Very well, sir,’ ses the mate, shrugging his shoulders. ‘O’ course,
if you won’t let me you won’t. Still I tell you, if you’d let me try
I’d cure ’em all in two days. That’s a fair challenge.’
“Well, they talked, and talked, and talked, until at last the skipper
give way and went down below with the mate, and told the chaps they was
to take the new medicine for two days, jest to prove the mate was
wrong.
“‘Let pore old Dan try it first, sir,’ ses Harry, starting up, an’
sniffing as the mate took the cork out; ‘he’s been awful bad since
you’ve been away.’
“‘Harry’s worse than I am, sir,’ ses Dan; ‘it’s only his kind heart
that makes him say that.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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