England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
“‘It don’t matter which is fust,’ ses the mate, filling a tablespoon
with it, ‘there’s plenty for all. Now, Harry.’
“‘Take it,’ ses the skipper.
“Harry took it, an’ the fuss he made you’d ha’ thought he was
swallering a football. It stuck all round his mouth, and he carried on
so dredful that the other invalids was half sick afore it came to them.
“By the time the other three ’ad ’ad theirs it was as good as a
pantermime, an’ the mate corked the bottle up, and went an’ sat down on
a locker while they tried to rinse their mouths out with the luxuries
which had been given ’em.
“‘How do you feel?’ ses the skipper.
“‘I’m dying,’ ses Dan.
“‘So’m I,’ ses Harry; ‘I b’leeve the mate’s pisoned us.”
“The skipper looks over at the mate very stern an’ shakes his ’ed
slowly.
“‘It’s all right,’ ses the mate. ‘It’s always like that the first dozen
or so doses.’
“‘Dozen or so doses!’ ses old Dan, in a far-away voice.
“‘It has to be taken every twenty minutes,’ ses the mate, pulling out
his pipe and lighting it; an’ the four men groaned all together.
“‘I can’t allow it,’ ses the skipper, ‘I can’t allow it. Men’s lives
mustn’t be sacrificed for an experiment.’
“‘’T ain’t a experiment,’ ses the mate very indignant, ‘it’s an old
family medicine.’
“‘Well, they shan’t have any more,’ ses the skipper firmly.
“‘Look here,’ ses the mate. ‘If I kill any one o’ these men I’ll give
you twenty pound. Honour bright, I will.’
“‘Make it twenty-five,’ ses the skipper, considering.
“‘Very good,’ ses the mate. ‘Twenty-five; I can’t say no fairer than
that, can I? It’s about time for another dose now.’
“He gave ’em another tablespoonful all round as the skipper left, an’
the chaps what wasn’t invalids nearly bust with joy. He wouldn’t let
’em have anything to take the taste out, ’cos he said it didn’t give
the medicine a chance, an’ he told us other chaps to remove the
temptation, an’ you bet we did.
“After the fifth dose, the invalids began to get desperate, an’ when
they heard they’d got to be woke up every twenty minutes through the
night to take the stuff, they sort o’ give up. Old Dan said he felt a
gentle glow stealing over him and strengthening him, and Harry said
that it felt like a healing balm to his lungs. All of ’em agreed it was
a wonderful sort o’ medicine, an’ arter the sixth dose the man with
paralysis dashed up on deck, and ran up the rigging like a cat. He sat
there for hours spitting, an’ swore he’d brain anybody who interrupted
him, an’ arter a little while Mike Rafferty went up and j’ined him, an’
if the fust mate’s ears didn’t burn by reason of the things them two
pore sufferers said about ’im, they ought to.
“They was all doing full work next day, an’ though, o’ course, the
skipper saw how he’d been done, he didn’t allude to it. Not in words,
that is; but when a man tries to make four chaps do the work of eight,
an’ hits ’em when they don’t, it’s a easy job to see where the shoe
pinches.”
A LOVE PASSAGE
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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