There was a new sound in the house. Her mother was moving heavily along
the hallway just outside the bedroom door. The Websters had turned a
small bedroom, at the end of the hall, into a bathroom and her mother
was going in there. Her feet fell slowly, flatly, heavily and slowly,
on the floor of the hallway. After all her feet only made that strange
sound because she had put on her soft bedroom slippers.
Downstairs now, if one listened, one could hear voices saying words
softly. That must be her father talking to the servant Katherine. What
could he want of her? The front door opened and then closed again. She
was afraid. Her body shook with fear. It was terrible of her father
to go away and leave her alone in the house. Could he have taken the
servant Katherine with him? The thought was unbearable. Why was she so
afraid of the thought of being left alone in the house with her mother?
There was a thought lurking within her, deep within her, that did not
want to get itself expressed. Something was about to happen to her
mother, now, within a few minutes. One did not want to think about it.
In the bathroom there were certain bottles, sitting on shelves in a
little box-like cabinet. They were labeled poison. One hardly knew why
they were kept there but Jane had seen them many times. She kept her
toothbrush in a glass tumbler in the cabinet. One supposed the bottles
contained medicines of the sort that was only to be taken externally.
One did not think much of such matters, was not in the habit of
thinking of them.
* * * * *
Now Jane was sitting upright in bed again. She was alone in the house
with her mother. Even the servant Katherine had gone away. The house
felt altogether cold and lonely, deserted. In the future she would
always feel out of place in this house in which she had always lived
and she would feel also, in some odd way, separated from her mother.
To be alone with her mother would now, perhaps, always make her feel a
little lonely.
Could it be that the servant Katherine was the woman with whom her
father had planned to go away? That could not be. Katherine was a large
heavy woman with big breasts and dark hair that was turning gray. One
could not think of her as going away with a man. One thought of her as
moving silently about a house and doing housework. Her father would
be going away with a younger woman, with a woman not much older than
herself.
One should get hold of oneself. When one got excited, let oneself go,
the fancy sometimes played one strange and terrible tricks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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