It was no doubt a fact that no man could do a quite isolated thing
in the modern world of men. Sometimes when John Webster was walking
homeward late at night, after having spent some hours with Natalie, he
stopped and looked about him. The street was deserted and the lights
had been put out in many of the houses. He raised his two arms and
looked at them. They had recently held a woman, tightly, tightly, and
the woman was not the one with whom he had lived for so many years, but
a new woman he had found. His arms had held her tightly and her arms
had held him. There had been joy in that. Joy had run through their
two bodies during the long embrace. They had breathed deeply. Had the
breath blown out of their lungs poisoned the air others had to breathe?
As to the woman, who was called his wife--she had wanted no such
embraces, or, had she wanted them, had been unable to take or give. A
notion came to him. “If you love in a loveless world you face others
with the sin of not loving,” he thought.
The streets lined with houses in which people lived were dark. It was
past eleven o’clock, but there was no need to hurry home. When he got
into bed he could not sleep. “It would be better just to walk about for
an hour yet,” he decided and when he came to the corner that led into
his own street did not turn, but kept on, going far out to the edge
of town and back. His feet made a sharp sound on the stone sidewalks.
Sometimes he met a man homeward bound and as they passed the man
looked at him with surprise and something like distrust in his eyes. He
walked past and then turned to look back. “What are you doing abroad?
Why aren’t you at home and in bed with your wife?” the man seemed to be
asking.
What was the man really thinking? Was there much thinking going on in
all the dark houses along the street or did people simply go into them
to eat and sleep as he had always gone into his own house? In fancy he
got a quick vision of many people lying in beds stuck high in the air.
The walls of the houses had receded from them.
Once, during the year before, there had been a fire in a house on his
own street and the front wall of the house had fallen down. When the
fire was put out one walked past in the street and there, laid bare
to the public gaze, were two upstairs rooms in which people had lived
for many years. Everything was a little burned and charred, but quite
intact. In each room there were a bed, one or two chairs, a square
piece of furniture with drawers in which shirts or dresses could be
kept, and at the side of the room a closet for other clothes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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