A smile spread itself over John Webster’s face and it was then he went
to sit on the floor at his daughter’s feet and tell her the rest of
the story of his married life. There was after all a kind of wicked
satisfaction to be got out of his situation. As for his daughter, well,
it was a fact too, that nature had made the connection between them
quite inevitable. He might throw into his daughter’s lap the new aspect
of life that had come to him and then, did she choose to reject it,
that would be a matter for her to decide. People would not blame her.
“Poor girl,” they would say, “what a shame she should have had such a
man for a father.” On the other hand and if after hearing all he had
to say she decided to run a little more swiftly through life, to open
her arms to it, in a way of speaking, what he had done would be a help.
There was Natalie whose old mother had made herself a great nuisance
by getting drunk and shouting so that all the neighbors could hear and
calling her hard-working daughters whores. It was perhaps absurd to
think that such a mother might be giving her daughters a better chance
in life than a quite respectable mother could possibly have given them
and still, in a world upset, turned upside down as it were, that might
be quite true too.
At any rate there was a quiet sureness in Natalie that was, even in his
moments of doubt, amazingly quieting and healing to himself. “I love
her and I accept her. If her old mother, by letting go of herself and
shouting in the streets in a kind of drunken splendor of abandonment,
has made a clear way in which Natalie may walk, all hail to her too,”
he thought, smiling at his own thoughts.
He sat at his daughter’s feet talking quietly and as he talked
something within her became more quiet. She listened with constantly
growing interest, looking down at him occasionally. He sat very close
to her and occasionally leaned over a little and laid his cheek against
her leg. “The devil! He was quite apparently making love to her too.”
She did not think such a thought definitely. A subtle feeling of
confidence and sureness went out of him into her. He began the tale of
his marriage again.
On the evening of his youth, when his friend and his friend’s mother
and sister had come into the presence of himself and the woman he
was to marry, he had suddenly been overcome by the same thing that
afterward left so permanent a scar on her. Shame swept over him.
Well what was he to do? How was he to explain this second running into
that room and into the presence of the naked woman? It was a matter
that could not be explained. A mood of desperation swept over him and
he ran past the people at the door and down the hallway, this time
getting into the room to which he had been assigned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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