And then it might well be true that the whole matter simply resolved
itself into this--that he, John Webster, was merely a man who had
become suddenly enamoured of his stenographer and wanted to go and
live with her and that he had found himself without the courage to do
so simple a thing without making a fuss about it, without in fact an
elaborate justification of himself, at the expense of these others. To
justify himself he had devised this strange business of appearing nude
before the young girl who was his daughter and who in reality, being
his daughter, deserved the utmost consideration from him. There was no
doubt but that, from one point of view, what he had done was altogether
unforgivable. “After all I am still but a washing machine manufacturer
in a small Wisconsin town,” he told himself, whispering the words out
slowly and distinctly to himself.
That was a thing to bear in mind. Now his bag was packed and he was
quite dressed and ready to set out. When the mind no longer moved
forward sometimes the body took its place and made the consummation of
an act once begun quite definitely unavoidable.
He walked across the room and stood for a time looking up into the calm
eyes of the Virgin in the frame.
His thoughts were again like bells heard ringing across fields. “I am
in a room in a house on a street in a town in the state of Wisconsin.
At this moment most of the other people here in town, the people among
whom I have always lived, are in bed and asleep but to-morrow morning,
when I am gone, the town will be here and will move forward with its
life, as it has been doing since I was a young fellow, married a woman
and began living my present life.” There were these definite facts of
existence. One wore clothes, ate, moved about among his fellow men and
women. Certain phases of life were lived in the darkness of nights,
others in the light of days. In the morning the three women who worked
at his office and also the bookkeeper would appear to do their usual
tasks. When, after a time, neither he nor Natalie Swartz appeared there
would begin a looking from one to another. After a time whispering
would begin. There would begin a whispering that would run through the
town, visit all the houses, the shops, the stores. Men and women would
stop on the street to speak to each other, the men speaking to other
men, the women to other women. The women who were wives would be a
little angry at him and the men a little envious, but the men would
perhaps speak of him more bitterly than the women. That would be to
cover up their own wish to break in some way the boredom of their own
existence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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