I say “some relief,” for meals at M’Kay’s were
a little disagreeable. His wife was an honest, good little woman, but so
much attached to him and so dependent on him that she was his mere echo.
She had no opinions which were not his, and whenever he said anything
which went beyond the ordinary affairs of the house, she listened with
curious effort, and generally responded by a weakened repetition of
M’Kay’s own observations. He perpetually, therefore, had before him an
enfeebled reflection of himself, and this much irritated him,
notwithstanding his love for her; for who could help loving a woman who,
without the least hesitation, would have opened her veins at his command,
and have given up every drop of blood in her body for him? Over and over
again I have heard him offer some criticism on a person or event, and the
customary chime of approval would ensue, provoking him to such a degree
that he would instantly contradict himself with much bitterness, leaving
poor Mrs. M’Kay in much perplexity. Such a shot as this generally
reduced her to timid silence. As a rule, he always discouraged any topic
at his house which was likely to serve as an occasion for showing his
wife’s dependence on him. He designedly talked about her household
affairs, asked her whether she had mended his clothes and ordered the
coals. She knew that these things were not what was upon his mind, and
she answered him in despairing tones, which showed how much she felt the
obtrusive condescension to her level. I greatly pitied her, and
sometimes, in fact, my emotion at the sight of her struggles with her
limitations almost overcame me and I was obliged to get up and go. She
was childishly affectionate. If M’Kay came in and happened to go up to
her and kiss her, her face brightened into the sweetest and happiest
smile. I recollect once after he had been unusually annoyed with her he
repented just as he was leaving home, and put his lips to her head,
holding it in both his hands. I saw her gently take the hand from her
forehead and press it to her mouth, the tears falling down her cheek
meanwhile. Nothing would ever tempt her to admit anything against her
husband. M’Kay was violent and unjust at times. His occupation he
hated, and his restless repugnance to it frequently discharged itself
indifferently upon everything which came in his way. His children often
thought him almost barbarous, but in truth he did not actually see them
when he was in one of these moods. What was really present with him,
excluding everything else, was the sting of something more than usually
repulsive of which they knew nothing. Mrs. M’Kay’s answer to her
children’s remonstrances when they were alone with her always was, “He is
so worried,” and she invariably dwelt upon their faults which had given
him the opportunity for his wrath.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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