never overcome with the fear of “spoiling me,” which seemed the constant
dread of most of my hostesses. I never lost my love for her. It grew as
I grew, despite my mother’s scarcely suppressed hostility to her, and
when I heard she was ill, and was likely to die, I went to be with her.
She was eighty years old then. I sat by her bedside with her hand in
mine. I was there when she passed away, and—but I have no mind and no
power to say any more, for all the memories of her affection and of the
sunny days by the water come over me and prevent the calmness necessary
for a chronicle. She with all her faults and eccentricities will always
have in my heart a little chapel with an ever-burning light. She was one
of the very very few whom I have ever seen who knew how to love a child.
Mrs. Butts and George had one son who was named Clement. He was exactly
my own age, and naturally we were constant companions. We went to the
same school. He never distinguished himself at his books, but he was
chief among us. He had a versatile talent for almost every
accomplishment in which we delighted, but he was not supreme in any one
of them. There were better cricketers, better football players, better
hands at setting a night-line, better swimmers than Clem, but he could do
something, and do it well, in all these departments. He generally took
up a thing with much eagerness for a time, and then let it drop. He was
foremost in introducing new games and new fashions, which he permitted to
flourish for a time, and then superseded. As he grew up he displayed a
taste for drawing and music. He was soon able to copy little paintings
of flowers, or even little country scenes, and to play a piece of no very
great difficulty with tolerable effect. But as he never was taught by a
master, and never practised elementary exercises and studies, he was
deficient in accuracy. When the question came what was to be done with
him after he left school, his father naturally wished him to go into the
mill. Clem, however, set his face steadily against this project, and his
mother, who was a believer in his genius, supported him. He actually
wanted to go to the University, a thing unheard of in those days amongst
our people; but this was not possible, and after dangling about for some
time at home, he obtained the post of usher in a school, an occupation
which he considered more congenial and intellectual than that of grinding
flour. Strange to say, although he knew less than any of his colleagues,
he succeeded better than any of them. He managed to impress a sense of
his own importance upon everybody, including the headmaster. He slid
into a position of superiority above three or four colleagues who would
have shamed him at an examination, and who uttered many a curse because
they saw themselves surpassed and put in the shade by a stranger, who,
they were confident, could hardly construct a hexameter. He never
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