As to the squire and his wife, they lived together just as before. I do
not think, that, excepting the four persons concerned, anybody ever heard
a syllable about the affair, save myself a long while afterwards. Clem,
however, packed up and left the town, after selling his business. He had
a reputation for restlessness; and his departure, although it was sudden,
was no surprise. He betook himself to Australia, his wife going with
him. I heard that they had gone, and heard also that he was tired of
school-keeping in England, and had determined to try his fortune in
another part of the world. Our friendship had dwindled to nothing, and I
thought no more about him. Mrs. Butts never uttered one word of reproach
to her husband. I cannot say that she loved him as she could have loved,
but she had accepted him, and she said to herself that as perhaps it was
through her lack of sympathy with him that he had strayed, it was her
duty more and more to draw him to herself. She had a divine disposition,
not infrequent amongst women, to seek in herself the reason for any wrong
which was done to her. That almost instinctive tendency in men, to
excuse, to transfer blame to others, to be angry with somebody else when
they suffer from the consequences of their own misdeeds, in her did not
exist.
During almost the whole of her married life, before this affair between
the squire and Clem, Mrs. Butts had had much trouble, although her
trouble was, perhaps, rather the absence of joy than the presence of any
poignant grief. She was much by herself. She had never been a great
reader, but in her frequent solitude she was forced to do something in
order to obtain relief, and she naturally turned to the Bible. It would
be foolish to say that the Bible alone was to be credited with the
support she received. It may only have been the occasion for a
revelation of the strength that was in her. Reading, however, under such
circumstances, is likely to be peculiarly profitable. It is never so
profitable as when it is undertaken in order that a positive need may be
satisfied or an inquiry answered. She discovered in the Bible much that
persons to whom it is a mere literature would never find. The water of
life was not merely admirable to the eye; she drank it, and knew what a
property it possessed for quenching thirst. No doubt the thought of a
heaven hereafter was especially consolatory. She was able to endure, and
even to be happy because the vision of lengthening sorrow was bounded by
a better world beyond. “A very poor, barbarous gospel,” thinks the
philosopher who rests on his Marcus Antoninus and Epictetus. I do not
mean to say, that in the shape in which she believed this doctrine, it
was not poor and barbarous, but yet we all of us, whatever our creed may
be, must lay hold at times for salvation upon something like it. Those
who have been plunged up to the very lips in affliction know its
necessity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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