of such a life would have transformed him into a brute. He had not the
ability to become revolutionary, or it would have made him a conspirator.
Suffering of any kind is hard to bear, but the suffering which especially
damages character is that which is caused by the neglect or oppression of
man. At any rate it was so in Taylor’s case. I believe that he would
have been patient under any inevitable ordinance of nature, but he could
not lie still under contempt, the knowledge that to those about him he
was of less consequence than the mud under their feet. He was timid and,
after his failure as a shopkeeper, and the near approach to the
workhouse, he dreaded above everything being again cast adrift. Strange
conflict arose in him, for the insults to which he was exposed drove him
almost to madness; and yet the dread of dismissal in a moment checked him
when he was about to “fire up,” as he called it, and reduced him to a
silence which was torture. Once he was ordered to bring some coals for
the messenger’s lobby. The man who gave him the order, finding that he
was a long time bringing them, went to the top of the stairs, and bawled
after him with an oath to make haste. The reason of the delay was that
Taylor had two loads to bring up—one for somebody else. When he got to
the top of the steps, the messenger with another oath took the coals, and
saying that he “would teach him to skulk there again,” kicked the other
coal-scuttle down to the bottom. Taylor himself told me this; and yet,
although he would have rejoiced if the man had dropped down dead, and
would willingly have shot him, he was dumb. The check operated in an
instant. He saw himself without a penny, and in the streets. He went
down into the cellar, and raged and wept for an hour. Had he been a
workman, he would probably have throttled his enemy, or tried to do it,
or what is more likely, his enemy would not have dared to treat him in
such fashion, but he was powerless, and once losing his situation he
would have sunk down into the gutter, whence he would have been swept by
the parish into the indiscriminate heap of London pauperism, and carted
away to the Union, a conclusion which was worse to him than being hung.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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