Marriage, As It Was, As It Is, and As It Should Be: A Plea for ReformBesant, Annie
Philosophy
Marriage, As It Was, As It Is, and As It Should Be: A Plea for Reform
Besant, Annie
Marriage -- Great Britain; Marriage law -- Great Britain
But marriage, it is said, would be too lightly entered into if it were
so easily dissoluble. Why? People do not rush into endless partnerships
because they are dissoluble at pleasure; on the contrary, such
partnerships last just so long as they are beneficial to the contracting
parties. In the same way, marriage would last exactly so long as its
continuance was beneficial, and no longer: when it became hurtful, it
would be dissolved. "How long then," asks Shelley, "ought the sexual
connection to last? what law ought to specify the extent of the
grievances which should limit its duration? A husband and wife ought to
continue so long united as they love each other; any law which should
bind them to cohabitation for one moment after the decay of their
affection, would be a most intolerable tyranny, and the most unworthy
of toleration. How odious a usurpation of the right of private judgment
should that law be considered which should make the ties of friendship
indissoluble, in spite of the caprices, the inconstancy, the fallibility
and capacity for improvement of the human mind. And by so much would
the fetters of love be heavier and more unendurable than those of
friendship, as love is more vehement and capricious, more dependent
on those delicate peculiarities of imagination, and less capable of
reduction to the ostensible merits of the object.... The connection
of the sexes is so long sacred as it contributes to the comfort of the
parties, and is naturally dissolved when its evils are greater than its
benefits. There is nothing immoral in this separation" (Notes on "Queen
Mab"). In spite of this facility of divorce, marriage would be the most
enduring of all partnerships; not only is there between married couples
the tie of sexual affection, but around them grows up a hedge of common
thoughts, common interests, common memories, that, as years go on, makes
the idea of separation more and more repulsive. It would only be where
the distaste had grown strong enough to break through all these, that
divorce would take place, and in such cases the misery of the enforced
common life would be removed without harm to any one. Of course, this
facility of divorce will entirely sweep away those odious suits for
"restitution of conjugal rights" which occasionally disgrace our courts.
If a husband and wife are living apart, without legal sanction, it is
now open to either of them to bring a suit for restitution of conjugal
rights. "The decree of restitution pronounces for the marriage,
admonishes the respondent to take the petitioner home and treat him or
her as husband or wife, and to render him or her conjugal rights; and,
further, to certify to the court, within a certain time, that he or she
had done so; in default of which, an attachment for contempt of court
will be issued against the offending party" (Broom's "Comm.," vol. iii.,
p. 400). It is difficult to understand how any man or woman, endued with
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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