One night when Mrs. Makebelieve came home she was very low-spirited
indeed. She complained once more of a headache and of a languor which
she could not account for. She said it gave her all the trouble in the
world to lift a bucket. It was not exactly that she could not lift a
bucket, but that she could scarcely close her mind down to the fact
that a bucket had to be lifted. Some spring of willingness seemed to
be temporarily absent. To close her two hands on a floor-cloth and
twist it into a spiral in order to wring it thoroughly was a thing
which she found herself imagining she could do if she liked, but had
not the least wish to do. These duties, even when she was engaged in
them, had a curious quality of remoteness. The bucket into which her
hand had been plunged a moment before seemed somehow incredibly
distant. To lift the soap lying beside the bucket one would require an
arm of more than human reach, and having washed, or rather dabbed, at
a square of flooring, it was a matter of grave concern how to reach
the unwashed part just beyond without moving herself. This languor
alarmed her. The pain in her head, while it was severe, did not really
matter. Every one had pains and aches, sores and sprains, but this
unknown weariness and disinclination for the very slightest exertion
gave her a fright.
Mary tempted her to come out and watch the people going into the
Gayety Theater. She said a certain actor was playing whom all the
women of Dublin make pilgrimages, even from distant places, to look
at; and by going at once they might be in time to see him arriving in
a motor car at the stage door, when they could have a good look at him
getting out of the car and going into the theater. At these tidings
Mrs. Makebelieve roused for a moment from her strange apathy. Since
tea-time she had sat (not as usual upright and gesticulating, but
humped up and flaccid) staring at a blob of condensed milk on the
outside of the tin. She said she thought she would go out and see the
great actor, although what all the women saw in him to go mad about
she did not know, but in another moment she settled back to her
humped-up position and restored her gaze to the condensed milk tin.
With a little trouble Mary got her to bed, where, after being hugged
for one moment, she went swiftly and soundly to sleep.
Mary was troubled because of her mother's illness, but, as it is
always difficult to believe in the serious illness of another person
until death has demonstrated its gravity, she soon dismissed the
matter from her mind. This was the more easily done because her mind
was teeming with impressions and pictures and scraps of dialogue.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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