SECRET, it said in big red letters across the top and bottom. Special
Instructions for Operation Space Case, said the smaller letters across
the middle of the top sheet.
"Now I ask you, Dwindle," Jones said to his clerkish aide, "where, in
this worldful of specialists, am I going to find someone with a
well-rounded education? Much less one who'll take a chance on a flier
like this?"
"Gosh, Mr. Jones, I just wouldn't know," Dwindle blinked. "Have you
tried looking through your files?"
"Have I tried looking through my files," Jones sighed, looking at the
ceiling light. "Dwindle, my files include every gainfully employed
person in the United States of America and its possessions. Millions of
them. One doesn't just browse through the files looking for things."
"Oh," Dwindle said. "I'm kinda new at this specialty," he explained.
"Yes, Dwindle. However," Jones continued, "one does make IBM runouts to
find things."
"Hey, that's great!" Dwindle said, brightening. "Why don't you try
making an IBM runout?"
"I did, Dwindle. Please let me finish? Our instructions call for finding
a person with a well-rounded education. More specifically, a person who
is capable of intelligently discussing and explaining some two dozen
major 'fields of knowledge.' Plus, of course, at least a passing
acquaintance with some one or two hundred minor fields of knowledge.
"So I set Mathematics into the IBM sorter. Mathematics is one of the
major fields of knowledge, you see."
"Yeh," Dwindle acknowledged.
"So I took the few million mathematicians' cards which I got--good
mathematicians and bad mathematicians, but at least people who can get
their decimals in the right place. I set the IBM sorter for Biology, and
ran the mathematicians' cards through. So I got several thousand
mathematician-biologists."
"That's pretty sharp!" Dwindle exclaimed with a twinkle. "Whoever
thought of that!"
"Please, Dwindle," Jones moaned, pressing his palms to his eyes. "Next I
sorted according to Geology. Three hundred cards came through. Three
hundred people in America who know their math, biology and geology!"
"That doesn't sound like so many to me," Dwindle said hesitantly, as if
wondering what there was to get so excited about.
"And of those three hundred, do you know how many understand, even
vaguely, Electronics? Twelve. And of those twelve, guess how many have
an adequate background in History and Anthropology? Much less an
understanding of eighteen other fields?"
"Not very many, I'll bet," Dwindle replied smartly.
"None! Not even one! I tried running the cards through in every order
imaginable. We've bred a race of specialists and there's not a truly
educated man among us!"
"Say, you know what I bet? Even if you did find a guy who's like what
all you said ..."
"Go ahead, Dwindle."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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