Memories of the future : $b Being memoirs of the years 1915‒1972, written in the year of grace 1988Knox, Ronald Arbuthnott
History
Memories of the future : $b Being memoirs of the years 1915‒1972, written in the year of grace 1988
Knox, Ronald Arbuthnott
English fiction -- 20th century; Satire, English; Twentieth century -- Forecasts
It was an idle undergraduate even in those days who did not keep her
four lectures every morning. If schools were not hanging over you,
Quarter Day was, and there was no temptation to “cut.” Dr. Feilding, of
Christ Church, had for a time a particularly successful lecture on
Ukrainian antiquities, until it was discovered that he was giving his
pupils a bonus of ten shillings! This practice was rightly discouraged
by the University authorities, who pointed out that it practically
amounted to paying people to be educated. By half-past one we were
whizzing along the moving pavement in the middle of St. Giles’ (one of
the first to be started, I believe, in the United Kingdom. The then
Principal of Pusey House would never travel on it: “these young ladies
are too _fast_ for me,” he said waggishly, more than once) and _en
route_ for our luncheon. This, according to the old Oxford tradition,
was a very simple meal—just a chop or a cutlet with vegetables, a cold
sweet, and a plate of cheese and butter; I doubt if modern Oxford would
stand it! Afternoon lectures had not then been instituted, and between
luncheon and tea we ordinarily devoted ourselves to sport. I continued
my football career with some success, but an unlucky strain prevented me
ever getting my Association half-blue. Tea was our chief social meal,
and I doubt if I had tea alone more than a dozen times during the whole
period of my residence. The habit of “lacing” one’s tea has grown up
since my time, and I do not think my young friends are any the better
for it. By six o’clock we would be at our books, till at seven, the old
College clock boomed out the hour for dressing.
I do not know that I have ever seen a prettier picture than was formed
every night by the College dinner. The harmonious lines of the building
itself—enlarged, of course, but enlarged in keeping with its original
architectural design—the soft glow of the wire electrics, falling on the
frilled shirt-fronts of the dons as they sat at the high table; the long
rows of sable-jacketed and sable-skirted undergraduates, the kindly,
weatherbeaten faces of the old “guides” who waited on us—it vied, I
think, in beauty, with the brightest of our modern ball-rooms. But
attendance in Hall was not compulsory, and as often as not one would be
dining out at the O.U.D.S., the Asquith, or the New Bolsheviks with a
party of friends from other Colleges. (Vincent’s and the Grid had not
yet admitted women.) That would mean a scramble to be back before the
College gates shut at ten, with the fear of meeting on your way there,
all capless and gownless, the terrible figure of the Proctress, with her
attendant “cowers.” A friend of mine, Ena Toogood, coming back from a
fancy dress ball in the costume of King Henry VIII, had the good fortune
to pass herself off on the Proctress as a man, and baffle the Proctor by
giving her College as St. Lucy’s!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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