Artists -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Jews -- England -- London -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Morrison sat watching. She was trembling and felt very miserable. She
had been brought there by Clowes, who had been unable to resist the
flattery of Calthrop's invitation. All these people seemed to her to
be pretending to be happy, and she was oppressed with it all. She had
not seen Mendel until he mounted the stage, and then her heart ached.
She remembered the etched phrases of his letter to her. She had
written to him, but nothing she could express on paper conveyed her
feeling, her sense of being in the wrong, and her deep, instinctive
conviction of the injustice of that wrong. . . . He had placed her in
the wrong by talking of marriage so prematurely. As she looked round
the room she was oppressed by all the men: great, hulking creatures,
clumsy, cocksure, insensible, spinning their vain thoughts and vainer
emotions round the women as a spider spins its threads round a caught
fly. . . . She had often watched spiders dealing with the booty in
their webs, and Calthrop reminded her of a spider when he looked at
Clowes and laid his hand on her shoulder or fingered her arm. And
Clowes lay still like a caught fly and suffered it. . . . Morrison was
in revolt against it all. She was full of sweet life, and would not
have it so treated. Her prudery was not shocked, for she had no
prudery. The men might have their women so, if the women liked it, but
never, never would she be so treated.
It was because she had been able to sweep aside the sticky threads of
vanity with Mendel that the ecstasy of the woods and the Heath had
been possible.
As she watched him now, she knew that he was different from all the
others. He had brought an exaltation into the face of the common
little girl who was his partner. He was giving her life, not taking it
from her.
Yet to see him made her unhappy. The music was vulgar, the people were
vulgar, and he had no true place among them. But how he enjoyed it
all!
She shook with impatience at herself. It was hateful to be outside it,
looking on, looking on. A young student had pestered her to dance with
him. She turned to him and said:--
"I want to dance, please."
Delighted, he sprang to his feet, gave her his arm, and whirled her
into the dance.
* * * * *
Slowing down to take breath, Mendel looked in her direction. She was
gone! A black despair seized him, a groan escaped him; he hugged
Jessie tight against his body and plunged madly into the dance.
The musicians had been given champagne. The violinist began to
embroider upon the tune and the 'cellist followed with voluptuous
thrumming chords.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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