Artists -- Fiction; English fiction -- 20th century; Jews -- England -- London -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
He began to study her face with a view to painting it, and he was
absorbed and fascinated by it. The lines of her cheek and of her neck
made him itch to draw them.
"Yes," he said, "I must paint you. I can do something good. I'm sure I
can."
"I wanted to ask if you would mind my painting you," she said.
He was aghast at her impudence. She, a slip of a girl, a "top-knot,"
paint the great Kühler!
She saw how horrified he was and added hastily:--
"Of course, I won't insist if you don't like sitting."
She rose to go and he begged her to stay.
"Don't go yet," he said with sudden emotion. "I don't want you to go.
Somehow I feel as if you had been sitting there always and I don't
want you to go. If you don't want to talk you needn't, but you must
stay. I could see that my mother liked you at once, and she always
knows good people. You made her happy about me. It was like sunshine
to her when you came in, and I shall be wretched if you go, for I
don't know what to think about you."
"I know what I think about you."
"What do you think?"
"You have made me feel that London isn't just a place where the trains
stop."
And she began to tell him about her home and the river where she
bathed with her brothers, the woods where in spring there were
primroses and daffodils, and in summer bluebells.
"Opposite the house," she said, "is a hill which is a common, all
covered with gorse in the summer, and the hot, nutty smell of it comes
up and seems to burn your face. There are snakes on the common--vipers
and adders and grass-snakes. From the top you can see the downs, and
beyond them, you know, is the sea. On moonlight nights it is glorious,
and I nearly go mad sometimes with running in and out of the shadows.
I believe I did go mad once, for I sat up on the top of the hill and
sang and shouted and cried, all by myself, and I felt that my heart
would break if I did not kiss something. The gorse was out, and I
buried my face in the dewy yellow flowers. . . . I often think the
woods are like churches on Easter Day. . . . And then when I get home
and it is just a house and I am just a girl living in it, you know, it
all seems wrong somehow."
Mendel sat on the floor trying to puzzle out this mysterious rapture
of hers. He had never heard of gorse or of downs, but he could
recognize her emotion. He had had something like it the first time he
saw a may-tree in blossom, and he had hardly been able to bear it. He
had rather resented it, for it had interfered with his work for a day
or two, and he could not help feeling that there was something
indecent about an emotion with which he could do nothing.
"Yes," he said heavily; "it must be very pretty."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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