Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"Loomis, Charles Battell
General
Minerva's Manoeuvres: The Cheerful Facts of a "Return to Nature"
Loomis, Charles Battell
Country life -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Married people -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
“Why, nothing,” said Benedict, “only I’d stay in the city all
summer before I’d borrow money to go away. I’d be too
independent.”
“Independent, poppycock,” said Tom. “We’re told to let
independence be our boast, but we’re also told that it’s wrong
to boast. So it’s wrong to boast of independence. No man can be
independent in this world. He relies on one man to bring him
into the world and on another to bury him, and all the time he’s
here he’s relying on one person or another. The only thing is
for him to accept help and be willing _to_ help. That’s all,”
Tom laughed. “Sermon’s over. Collection will now be taken up to
bring those two babes to the place where they can make bread for
next winter. No, sir. You, Phil, can _not_ contribute. This
hard-as-nails Benedict, who thinks he’s made his own way, and
who has been helped all along by our free institutions, will
chip in, and so will old Crœsus when he comes back from his
horseback ride with Cherry.” He paused. “Sibthorp ought to learn
to ride.”
Benedict’s hand went down into his pocket and brought out a
bill.
“Now, see here,” said Tom. “I don’t want you to have the idea
that you’re doing a charitable act, for you’re not. Those boys
are going to give us a couple of sketches before they go back,
and we’ll sell them for more than ten dollars and refund pro
rata. Will that satisfy your sordid business soul?”
Benedict drew off and gave Tom a friendly punch. They were
always insulting each other, having been friends for years, and
both of them members of the Olla Podrida Club, which, by the
way, is an association of artists and men interested in art.
Benedict buys a picture once in a while and, according to Tom,
when he relies on the advice of an artist friend, he gets a good
one. When he relies on his own judgment he gets something that
provides no end of amusement to all the artists except the one
who painted the picture.
“I want none of your impudence, Tom,” said he, and then Minerva
interrupted.
It seems as if Minerva were always interrupting and generally
with a shriek.
“Oh, Lawdy! Lawdy! there’s a big worm in the kitchen!” cried she
as she came running out of the sitting room to where we were
standing.
“Worms can’t hurt you, Minerva,” said Tom. “Go get a bird and
see him catch the worm.”
“Oh, my! but this worm would eat any bird I ever saw. It’s that
long.”
She showed how long it was, and Tom said,
“Why, it must be a snake.”
We men ran into the kitchen, and there, sure enough, was a
little green snake about a foot long and frightened in every
inch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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