American fiction -- 19th century; Love stories; Romance fiction, American
She spoke truly, too. There was no reason in it. It was madness. He
had done nothing to touch her heart, had made no effort to reach it.
And yet he had reached and touched it. It would not have been like her
to love a man because he was good, because he had made love to her;
indeed, because of anything. Her actions were generally without any
cause but her own peremptory fancies; and here, some strange, sudden
caprice of emotion had been too much for her. How she had suffered
since she discovered her weakness, no one but herself would ever know.
She had writhed under it, burned under it, loathed it, and yet been
conquered by it. Almost every blade of Pen’yllan grass reminded her of
some wrong she had done to the kindly, impetuous young fellow, who had
loved her in the past. Almost every grain of Pen’yllan sand taunted her
with some wanton selfishness, or cruelty, which must be remembered by
the man who could have nothing but dislike for her in the present.
“I should be grateful now,” she cried, bitterly. “Yes! Grateful for
a tithe of what I once had under foot. This is eating dirt with a
vengeance.”
She might well frighten Miss Clarissa with her pallor and wretched
looks. The intensity of her misery and humiliation was wearing her out,
and robbing her of sleep and appetite. She wanted to leave Pen’yllan,
but how could she suggest it? Georgie was so happy, she told herself,
with a vindictive pleasure in her pain, that it would be a pity to
disturb her.
She walked up and down the beach for half an hour before she returned
home; and when she went her way, she was so tired as to be fairly
exhausted. At the side door, by which she entered the house, she met
Georgie, who held an open letter in her hand.
“Whom from?” asked Lisbeth, for lack of something to say.
“Mamma,” was the girl’s answer. “She wonders when we are going home;
but I am enjoying Pen’yllan so much----”
She paused, and blushed. Just lately it had occurred to her that it
might be possible that Lisbeth misunderstood her relation to Hector,
and something in Lisbeth’s face made her stop and blush in this
opportune manner.
“The weather is so lovely,” she ended, “that I don’t think I want to go
yet.”
Lisbeth smiled, but her smile was an abstracted sort of affair.
“No,” she said. “We won’t go yet. Pen’yllan is doing both of us good;
and it is doing Mr. Anstruthers good, too. We won’t go yet. Tell Mrs.
Esmond so, Georgie.”
And then she carried her absent smile up stairs.
CHAPTER XVI.
YES--TO LISBETH.
Georgie stood still, and looked after her. She blushed more deeply than
ever. A queer distress and discomfort came upon her, and filled her
mind. She had only wondered, before, if it was possible that Lisbeth
did not know, did not wholly understand; but now the truth revealed
itself in an uncomfortable flash of recognition.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, under her breath. “She does not see. She thinks--I
am sure she thinks--” But she did not put the rest into words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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