“Heavens!” I exclaimed. “I thought for an instant you were going to say right and wrong! The right and left confusion explains nothing, for in those directions in which people are confused as between right and left they are as likely to take one as the other. How could that explain why a woman uses her right hand when she should use her left, and her left when she should use her right?” “I’m afraid it wouldn’t, unless you wished to fortify some theory of her natural perverseness, and I hope you don’t wish to be so trite. You shouldn’t hurry woman too much. See what physical agility she is displaying with the bicycle. She is unfolding wonderfully. You men are too impatient. I read an advertisement the other day in which I saw a tangible sign of this impatience. It was headed. ‘A Moustache in a Month.’ Surely that is wrong.” “Yes, it is as wrong as the conditions indicated by a department store advertisement I read the other day which began: ‘Great Embroidery Excitement.’” “O, I know we are all too intense. I understand that it is telling in our appearance. A scientific observer has been reminding us that we Americans have too much expression, and that the dull, stupid look in certain English faces, for instance, indicates reserve force, a force that is not constantly being wasted in expression. They say we even go to sleep with our expressions. My teacher says, ‘When you go to bed, unlock your face.’” “Are teachers really bothering you about your expressions? Your teacher must be a woman.” “She is, and—” “I thought so. Only a woman—” [Illustration] “Yes, I know. Our expressions are too lovely to be ruthlessly modified. I credit you with all that you could say. But you are not a bit practical. Our nerves are more important than our expressions. I guess you may count on us for expression enough when the occasion demands. What we want are healthy nerves behind the expressions.” “I see; you are going in for that stupid look now.” “If it becomes necessary.” “You never will succeed.” “Probably I don’t want you to hope we will. You know what I mean—” “How can I help knowing? Do we hear anything else but relaxing? Those of you who are not relaxing tremendously are repenting of your outlines and straining to get thin.” “Don’t you suppose there are great advantages in these readjustments? When a girl is very pretty she is pampered; when she is pampered she grows fat; when she grows fat she grows ugly; and so things are balanced.”