Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"I was only about to say, Mr. Twist, that you will doubtless be
surprised to hear that for some reason or another, having started to
go off in the little car, the young lady apparently decided on second
thoughts to continue her journey by train. She left the little car at
Lowick Station, with instructions that it be returned 'ere. I found
that young Jakes, the station-master's son, outside with it a moment
ago. Tooting the 'orn, he was, the young rascal, and saying he wanted
half a crown. Using my own discretion, I gave him sixpence. You may
reimburse me at your leisure and when convenient. Shall I take the
little car and put it in the garridge, sir?"
Chimp gave eager assent to this proposition, as he would have done
to any proposition which appeared to carry with it the prospect of
removing this man from his presence.
"It's funny, the young lady leaving the little car at the station,
sir," mused Mr. Flannery in a voice that shook the chandelier. "I
suppose she happened to reach there at a moment when a train was
signalled and decided that she preferred not to overtax her limited
strength by driving to London. I fancy she must have had London as her
objective."
Chimp fancied so, too. A picture rose before his eyes of Dolly and
Soapy revelling together in the metropolis, with the loot of Rudge Hall
bestowed in some safe place where he would never, never be able to get
at it. The picture was so vivid that he uttered a groan.
"Where does it catch you, sir?" asked Mr. Flannery solicitously.
"Eh?"
"The pain, sir. The agony. You appear to be suffering. If you take
my advice, you'll get off to bed and put an 'ot-water bottle on your
stummick. Lay it right across the abdomen, sir. It may dror the poison
out. I had an old aunt...."
"I don't want to hear about your aunt."
"Very good, sir. Just as you wish."
"Tell me about her some other time."
"Any time that suits you, sir," said Mr. Flannery agreeably. "Well,
I'll be off and putting the little car in the garridge."
He left the room, and Chimp, withdrawing his hands from his eyes,
gave himself up to racking thought. A man recovering from knock-out
drops must necessarily see things in a jaundiced light, but it is
scarcely probable that, even had he been in robust health, Mr. Twist's
meditations would have been much pleasanter. Condensed, they resolved
themselves, like John's, into a passionate wish that he could meet
Soapy Molloy again, if only for a moment.
And he had hardly decided that such a meeting was the only thing which
life now had to offer, when the door opened again and the maid appeared.
"Mr. Molloy to see you, sir."
Chimp started from his chair.
"Show him in," he said in a tense, husky voice.
There was a shuffling noise without, and Soapy appeared in the doorway.
II
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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