Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
John's reaction to the disclosure was not agreeable. It is never
pleasant for a spirited young man to find himself baffled, nor is it
cheering for a member of an ancient family to discover that the head of
that family has been working in association with criminals and behaving
in a manner calculated to lead to rock-cracking.
Not for an instant did it occur to him to doubt the story. Although the
Messrs. Twist and Molloy were men whose statements the prudent would
be inclined to accept as a rule with reserve, on this occasion it was
evident that they were speaking nothing but the truth.
"Say, listen," cried Chimp, alarmed. He had been watching John's face
and did not like the look of it. "No rough stuff!"
John had been contemplating none. Chimp and his companion had ceased
to matter, and the fury which was making his face rather an unpleasant
spectacle for two peace-loving men shut up in a small room with him
was directed exclusively against his uncle Lester. Rudge Hall and its
treasures were sacred to John; and the thought that Mr. Carmody, whose
trust they were, had framed this scheme for the house's despoilment was
almost more than he could bear.
"It isn't us you ought to be sore at," urged Mr. Molloy. "It's that old
uncle of yours."
"Sure it is," said Chimp.
"Sure it is," echoed Mr. Molloy. Not for a long time had he and his old
friend found themselves so completely in agreement. "He's the guy you
want to soak it to."
"I'll say he is," said Chimp.
"I'll say he is," said Mr. Molloy. "Say listen, let me tell you
something. Something that'll make you feel good. I happen to know that
old man Carmody is throwing the wool over those insurance people's eyes
by offering a reward for the recovery of that stuff. A thousand pounds.
He told me so himself. If you want to get him good and sore, all you've
got to do is claim it. He won't dare hold out on you."
"Certainly he won't," said Chimp.
"Certainly he won't," said Mr. Molloy. "And will that make him good and
sore!"
"Will it!" said Chimp.
"Will it!" said Mr. Molloy.
"Wake me up in the night and ask me," said Chimp.
"Me, too," said Mr. Molloy.
Their generous enthusiasm seemed to have had its effect. The ferocity
faded from John's demeanour. Something resembling a smile flitted
across his face, as if some pleasing thought was entertaining him. Mr.
Molloy relaxed his tension and breathed again. Chimp, in his relief,
found himself raising a hand to his moustache.
"I see," said John slowly.
He passed his fingers thoughtfully over his unshaven chin.
"Is there a car in your garage?" he asked.
"Sure there's a car in my garage," said Chimp. "Your car."
"What!"
"Certainly."
"But that girl went off in it."
"She sent it back."
So overwhelming was the joy of these tidings that John found himself
regarding Chimp almost with liking. His car was safe after all. His
Arab Steed! His Widgeon Seven!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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