Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
Any further conversation after this stupendous announcement would,
he felt, be an anti-climax. Without a word he darted to the door and
passed through, leaving the two partners staring after him blankly.
"Well, what do you know about that?" said Chimp.
Mr. Molloy's comment on the situation remained unspoken, for even as
his lips parted for the utterance of what would no doubt have been a
telling and significant speech, there came from the corridor outside a
single, thunderous "Oo-er!" followed immediately by a sharp, smacking
sound, and then a noise that resembled the delivery of a ton of coals.
Mr. Molloy stared at Chimp. Chimp stared at Mr. Molloy.
"Gosh!" said Chimp, awed.
"Gosh!" said Mr. Molloy.
"That was Flannery!" said Chimp, unnecessarily.
"'Was,'" said Mr. Molloy, "is right."
It was not immediately that either found himself disposed to leave
the room and institute inquiries--or more probably, judging from that
titanic crash, a post-mortem. When eventually they brought themselves
to the deed and crept palely to the head of the stairs they were
enabled to see, resting on the floor below, something which from
its groans appeared at any rate for the moment to be alive. Then
this object unscrambled itself and, rising, revealed the features of
Sergeant-Major Flannery.
Mr. Flannery seemed upset about something.
"Was it you, sir?" he inquired in tones of deep reproach. "Was it you,
Mr. Twist, that unlocked that Case's door?"
"I wanted to have a talk with him," said Chimp, descending the stairs
and gazing remorsefully at his assistant.
"I have the honour to inform you," said Mr. Flannery formally, "that
the Case has legged it."
"Are you hurt?"
"In reply to your question, sir," said Mr. Flannery in the same formal
voice, "I _am_ hurt."
It would have been plain to the most casual observer that the man was
speaking no more than the truth. How in the short time at his disposal
John had managed to do it was a mystery which baffled both Chimp and
his partner. An egg-shaped bump stood out on the Sergeant-Major's
forehead like a rocky promontory, and already he was exhibiting one of
the world's most impressive black eyes. The thought that there, but
for the grace of God, went Alexander Twist filled the proprietor of
Healthward Ho with so deep a feeling of thankfulness that he had to
clutch at the banister to support himself.
A similar emotion was plainly animating Mr. Molloy. To have been
shut up in a room with a man capable of execution like that--a man,
moreover, nurturing a solid and justifiable grudge against him, and to
have escaped uninjured was something that seemed to him to call for
celebration. He edged off in the direction of the study. He wanted a
drink, and he wanted it quick.
Mr. Flannery, pressing a hand to his wounded eye, continued with the
other to hold Chimp rooted to the spot. It was an eye that had much of
the quality of the Ancient Mariner's, and Chimp did not attempt to move.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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