Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"Just as you please. Hugo Carmody is the last man," he said, a little
stiffly, "to thrust his assistance on those who do not require same.
But a word from me would make all the difference, and you know it.
Rightly or wrongly, Pat has always looked up to me, regarded me as
a wise elder brother, and, putting it in a nutshell, hung upon my
lips. I could start you off right. However, since you're so blasted
independent, carry on, only bear this in mind--when it's all over and
you are shedding scalding tears of remorse and thinking of what might
have been, don't come yowling to me for sympathy, because there won't
be any."
John went upstairs and packed his bag. He packed well and thoroughly.
This done, he charged down the stairs, and perceived with annoyance
that Hugo was still inflicting the stable yard with his beastly
presence.
But Hugo was not there to make jarring conversation. He was present
now, it appeared, solely in the capacity of Good Angel.
"I've fixed up that tire," said Hugo, "and filled the tank and put in a
drop of oil and passed an eye over the machinery in general. She ought
to run nicely now."
John melted. His mood had softened, and he was in a fitter frame of
mind to remember that he had always been fond of his cousin.
"Thanks. Very good of you. Well, good-bye."
"Good-bye," said Hugo. "And heaven speed your wooing, boy."
Freed from the restrictions placed upon a light two-seater by the
ruts and hillocks of country lanes, John celebrated his arrival on
the broad main road that led to London by placing a large foot on the
accelerator and keeping it there. He was behind time, and he intended
to test a belief which he had long held, that a Widgeon Seven can, if
pressed, do fifty. To the scenery, singularly beautiful in this part
of England, he paid no attention. Automatically avoiding wagons by an
inch and dreamily putting thoughts of the hereafter into the startled
minds of dogs and chickens, he was out of Worcestershire and into
Gloucestershire almost before he had really settled in his seat. It
was only when the long wall that fringes Blenheim Park came into view
that it was borne in upon him that he would be reaching Oxford in a
few minutes and could stop for a well-earned cup of tea. He noted with
satisfaction that he was nicely ahead of the clock.
He drifted past the Martyrs' Memorial, and, picking his way through the
traffic, drew up at the door of the Clarendon. He alighted stiffly, and
stretched himself. And as he did so, something caught his attention out
of the corner of his eye. It was his cousin Hugo, climbing down from
the dickey.
"A very nice run," said Hugo with satisfaction. "I should say we made
pretty good time."
He radiated kindliness and satisfaction with all created things. That
John was looking at him in rather a peculiar way, and apparently trying
to say something, he did not seem to notice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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