Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
"Everything that comes in goes out again in expenses. There's no end to
my expenses. Farmers in England to-day sit up at night trying to think
of new claims they can make against a landlord."
There was another pause.
"That's bad," said Mr. Molloy thoughtfully. "Yes, sir, that's bad."
His commiseration was not all for Mr. Carmody. In fact, very little
of it was. Most of it was reserved for himself. It began to look, he
realized, as though in coming to this stately home of England he had
been simply wasting valuable time. It was not as if he enjoyed staying
at country houses in a purely æsthetic spirit. On the contrary, a place
like Rudge Hall afflicted his town-bred nerves. Being in it seemed to
him like living in the first-act set of an old-fashioned comic opera.
He always felt that at any moment a band of villagers and retainers
might dance out and start a drinking chorus.
"Yes, sir," said Mr. Molloy, "that must grind you a good deal."
"What must?"
It was not Mr. Carmody who had spoken, but his guest's attractive
young wife, who, having returned from the village, had come up from
the direction of the rose garden. From afar she had observed her
husband spreading his hands in broad, persuasive gestures, and from
her knowledge of him had gathered that he had embarked on one of those
high-pressure sales talks of his which did so much to keep the wolf
from the door. Then she had seen a shadow fall athwart his fine face,
and, scenting a hitch in the negotiations, had hurried up to lend
wifely assistance.
"What must grind him?" she asked.
Mr. Molloy kept nothing from his bride.
"I was offering our host here a block of those Silver River shares...."
"Oh, you aren't going to sell Silver Rivers!" cried Mrs. Molloy in
pretty concern. "Why, you've always told me they're the biggest thing
you've got."
"So they are. But...."
"Oh, well," said Dolly with a charming smile, "seeing it's Mr. Carmody.
I wouldn't mind Mr. Carmody having them."
"Nor would I," said Mr. Molloy sincerely. "But he can't afford to buy."
"What!"
"You tell her," said Mr. Molloy.
Mr. Carmody told her. He was never averse to speaking of the
unfortunate position in which the modern owner of English land found
himself.
"Well, I don't get it," said Dolly, shaking her head. "You call
yourself a poor man. How can you be poor, when that gallery place you
showed us round yesterday is jam full of pictures worth a fortune an
inch and tapestries and all those gold coins?"
"Heirlooms."
"How's that?"
"They're heirlooms," said Mr. Carmody bitterly.
He always felt bitter when he thought of the Rudge Hall heirlooms. He
looked upon them as a mean joke played on him by a gang of sardonic
ancestors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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