Money for nothingWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Money for nothing
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Greed -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Swindlers and swindling -- Fiction
Mr. Carmody was not. What he was worrying about was the practicability
of the thing. Could it, he was asking himself, be put safely through
without the risk, so distasteful to a man of sensibility, of landing
him for a lengthy term of years in a prison cell? It was on this aspect
of the matter that he now touched.
"It wouldn't be safe," he said, and few men since the world began have
ever spoken more wistfully. "We would be found out."
"Not a chance. Who would find out? Who's going to say anything? You're
not. I'm not. Pop's not."
"You bet your life Pop's not," asserted Mr. Molloy.
Mr. Carmody gazed out over the waters of the moat. His brain, quickened
by the stimulating prospect of money for nothing, detected another
doubtful point.
"Who would take the things?"
"You mean get them out of the house?"
"Exactly. Somebody would have to take them. It would be necessary to
create the appearance of an actual burglary."
"Well, there'll be an actual burglary."
"But whom could we trust in such a vital matter?"
"That's all right. Pop's got a friend, another millionaire like
himself, who would put this thing through just for the fun of it, to
oblige Pop. You could trust him."
"Who?" asked Mr. Molloy, plainly surprised that any friend of his could
be trusted.
"Chimp," said Dolly briefly.
"Oh, Chimp," said Mr. Molloy, his face clearing. "Yes, Chimp would do
it."
"Who," asked Mr. Carmody, "is Chimp?"
"A good friend of mine. You wouldn't know him."
Mr. Carmody scratched at the gravel with his toe, and for a long minute
there was silence in the garden. Mr. Molloy looked at Mrs. Molloy.
Mrs. Molloy looked at Mr. Molloy. Mr. Molloy closed his left eye for
a fractional instant, and in response Mrs. Molloy permitted her right
eyelid to quiver. But, perceiving that this was one of the occasions on
which a strong man wishes to be left alone to commune with his soul,
they forebore to break in upon his reverie with jarring speech.
"Well, I'll think it over," said Mr. Carmody.
"Atta-boy!" said Mr. Molloy.
"Sure. You take a nice walk around the block all by yourself," advised
Mrs. Molloy, "and then come back and issue a bulletin."
Mr. Carmody moved away, pondering deeply, and Mr. Molloy turned to his
wife.
"What made you think of Chimp?" he asked doubtfully.
"Well, he's the only guy on this side that we really know. We can't
pick and choose, same as if we were in New York."
Mr. Molloy eyed the moat with a thoughtful frown.
"Well, I'll tell you, honey. I'm not so darned sure that I sort of kind
of like bringing Chimp into a thing like this. You know what he is--as
slippery as an eel that's been rubbed all over with axle grease. He
might double-cross us."
"Not if we double-cross him first."
"But could we?"
"Sure we could. And, anyway, it's Chimp or no one. This isn't the sort
of affair you can just go out into the street and pick up the first
man you run into. It's a job where you've got to have somebody you've
worked with before."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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