A few of them behaved
politely to me, but to others it seemed to be a pleasure to humble me.
On that very first Monday, Bullock, the junior in Wiggens, Moggs, and
Bullock, burst into the room. He knew me very well, but took no notice
of me, although I was alone, except to ask—
‘Is Mr. Jackman in?’
‘No, sir, can I do anything for you?’
He did not deign to say a word, but went out, slamming the door behind
him.
Nevertheless I kept up my spirits, or rather they kept themselves up. At
five o’clock, when the scramble to get the letters signed began, I
thought of our street at home, so dull at that hour, of the milkman, and
the muffin-boy, of the curate, and of my niece’s companions, and
reflected, thank God, that I was in the City, a man amongst men. When
seven o’clock came and the gas was put out, there was the anticipation
also of the fight for a place in the omnibus, especially if it was a wet
night, and the certainty that I should meet with one or two neighbours
who would recognise me. No more putting up window-blinds, pulling up
weeds in the back garden, sticking in seeds which never grew, or errands
to suburban shops at midday. How I used in my retirement to detest the
sight of those little shopkeepers when the doors of Glyn’s Bank were
swinging to and fro! I came home dead-beaten now, it is true, but it was
a luxury to be dead-beaten, and I slept more soundly than I had ever
slept in my life. In about six months my position improved a little.
Jackman’s love for sherry grew upon him, and once or twice, to Larkins’s
disgust, his partner was not quite as fit to appear in public as he ought
to have been. Very often he was absent, sick. Two of the cheap clerks
also left in order to better themselves. I never shall forget the
afternoon—I felt as if I could have danced for joy—when Larkins said to
me, ‘Whittaker, Mr. Jackman hasn’t very good health, and if he’s not here
when I am out, you must answer anybody who calls, but don’t commit
yourself—and—let me see—I was going to tell you you’ll have ten pounds a
year more, beginning next quarter—and there was something else—Oh! I
recollect, if anybody should want to see Mr. Jackman when he happens to
be unwell here, and I am not with him, send for me if you know where I
am. If you don’t know, you must do the best you can.’ My office coat
had hitherto been an old shiny, ragged thing, and I had always taken off
my shirt-cuffs when I began work, because they so soon became dirty. I
rammed the old coat that night into the fire; brought my second-best coat
in a brown paper parcel the next morning, and wore my shirt-cuffs all day
long. Continually I had to think—only fancy, to think—once more; in a
very small way, it is true, but still to think and to act upon my
thought, and when Larkins came in and inquired if anybody had called, he
now and then said ‘all right’ when I told him what I had done. A clerk
from my old office swaggered in and did not remove his hat. I descended
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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