But what is this? No Union Jack Floats on the Stables at the back! No Toffs escorting Ladies fair Perambulate the Gay Parterre. A 'Scutcheon hanging lozenge-wise And draped in crape appals his eyes Upon the mansion's ample door, To which he wades through [Illustration] heaps of Straw,[A] And which a Butler [A] This is the first and only time That I have used this sort of Rhyme. [Illustration] drowned in tears, On opening but confirms his fears: "Oh! Sir!--Prepare to hear the worst!... Last night my kind old master burst. And what is more, I doubt if he Has left enough to pay your fee. The Budget----" With a dreadful oath, The Specialist, [Illustration] denouncing both The Budget _and_ the House of Lords, Buzzed angrily Bayswaterwards. * * * * * And ever since, as I am told, Gets it beforehand; and in gold. Lord Calvin Lord Calvin thought the Bishops should not sit As Peers of Parliament. [Illustration] And _argued_ it! In spite of which, for years, and years, and years, They went on sitting with their fellow-peers. Lord Henry Chase What happened to Lord Henry Chase? He got into a [Illustration] Libel Case! _The Daily Howl_ had said that he-- But could not prove it perfectly To Judge or Jury's satisfaction: His Lordship, therefore, [Illustration] won the action. But, as the damages were small, [Illustration] He gave them to a Hospital. Lord Heygate [Illustration] LORD HEYGATE had a troubled face, His furniture was commonplace-- The sort of Peer who well might pass For someone of the middle class. I do not think you want to hear About this unimportant Peer, So let us leave him to discourse About LORD EPSOM and his horse. Lord Epsom [Illustration] A Horse, Lord Epsom did bestride With mastery and quiet pride. He dug his spurs into its hide. The Horse, [Illustration] discerning it was pricked, Incontinently [Illustration] bucked and kicked, A thing that no one could predict! Lord Epsom clearly understood The High-bred creature's nervous mood, [Illustration] As only such a horseman could. Dismounting, [Illustration] [Illustration] he was heard to say That it was kinder to delay His pleasure to a future day * * * * * He had the Hunter led away. Lord Finchley [Illustration] Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light Himself. [Illustration] It struck him dead: And serve him right! It is the business of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan. Lord Ali-Baba Lord Ali-Baba was a Turk Who hated every kind of work, And would repose for hours at ease With [Illustration] Houris seated on his knees. A happy life!--Until, one day [Illustration]