Motherhood and the Relationships of the SexesHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Philosophy
Motherhood and the Relationships of the Sexes
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Mothers; Sex; Women -- Social and moral questions
Let us understand what harm we are doing. Do we know? Do we care? We
have, I suppose, a certain vague ideal as to what Woman should be, but as
far as I can see we give no kind of training to help a girl in any way to
live healthily and fully her life as a woman. As it is, one is tempted
to say that it is rather in spite of than by means of her education that
any modern girl arrives at any conception of her womanly nature and her
tasks. We really seem to be proclaiming a sense of injury because there
is such a fact in the girl’s nature as sex.
Again I assert that our crime is manifest. We have set up an educational
system that is blind to the needs of girls and the facts of their
sexual life. How many among us women of this generation have suffered
hurt—thousands of women defrauded of happiness and of health, bearing
with them year after year the mark of lost instincts, stifled desires,
and natures in part murdered. Do I write strongly? Yes, I do; but I write
of what I know to be true.
Mothers, wrapped in the long trance of complacent living, remain
indifferent, or are themselves too ignorant and dead to life to give
help. As their daughters come to consciousness, as they begin to suffer
their own fulfilment, they can do nothing and they cast them off. Hard
shut down and silent in themselves, how many girls suffer the anguish of
youth reaching out for the unknown ideal that they can’t grasp, can’t
even distinguish or conceive. What we call education helps them not at
all, for how can any educational system succeed when it runs contrary
to nature? All the larger intimate problems that encompass life are
neglected, while the intellect is crammed with a store of quite useless
facts. Real education would lead to emancipation, but instead we prepare
girls for examinations.
And what we have to fear is a deadening of physical and spiritual
response that must tend to follow from this suppression. For what is
a girl’s life? She works and rests from work, eats, and sleeps, and
plays, and all the while she remains wrapped in the closest egoism, her
strongest instincts smouldering beneath the dull weight of an education
that is not an education, but an unstimulating and conforming pretence,
and not fitted to the needs, of living. Even when she is free and is
turned out at last, apathetic and obliterated, she carries with her
vague dreads of positive acts and new ideas. How seldom does she succeed
in urging out of herself the inmost vital part she has stifled. She is
compacted of numbed faculties and inhibited desires.
The inmost Self yearns to get out and away, to spend itself, to find its
due share in the ever-creating life. But the confidence and possession of
the Self has been destroyed; the ego is left alone with its dread, with
the distrust of desires not understood and instincts thrust back within.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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