"Yes! we knew it. I knew--thought that I had realized the fact--told myself every day that in a few months he would be hidden from us under ground--gone to a life where we cannot follow him even with our thoughts, though we pretend to be so sure about it, as those women do in 'The Gates Ajar.' I told myself this every day. And yet, now that he is snatched away suddenly--cruelly--mysteriously--it is as hard to bear as if I had believed that he would live a hundred years. I am not like you, a piece of statuesque perfection. I cannot say 'Thy will be done,' when my dearest--the only man I ever loved upon this wide earth is snatched from me. Does that shock your chilly propriety, you who only half loved him, and who broke his heart at another woman's bidding? Yes! I loved him from the first--loved him all the while he was your lover, and found it enough for happiness to be in his company--to see and hear him, and answer every thought of his with sympathetic thoughts of mine--understanding him quicker and better than you could, bright as you are--happy to go about with you two--to be the shadow in the sunshine of your glad young lives, just as a dog who loved him would have been happy following at his heels. Yes, Belle, I loved him--I think almost from the hour he came here, in the sweet autumn twilight, when I saw that poetic face, half in fire-glow and half in darkness--loved him always, always, always, and admired him as the most perfect among men!" "Jessie, my dearest, my bravest! And you were so true and loyal. You never by word or look betrayed----" "What do you think of me?" cried Jessie, indignantly. "Do you suppose that I would not rather have cut out my tongue--thrown myself off the nearest cliff--than give him one lightest occasion to suspect what a paltry-souled creature I was--so weak that I could not cure myself of loving another woman's lover. While he lived I hated myself for my folly; now he is dead, I glory in the thought of how I loved him--how I gave him the most precious treasures of my soul--my reverence--my regard--my tears and hopes and prayers. Those are the only gold and frankincense and myrrh which the poor of this earth can offer, and I gave them freely to my divinity!" Christabel laid her hand upon the passionate lips; and, kneeling by her friend's side, comforted her with gentle caresses. "Do you suppose I am not sorry for him, Jessie?" she said reproachfully, after a long pause. "Yes, no doubt you are, in your way; but it is such an icy way." "Would you have me go raving about the house--I, Leonard's wife, Leo's mother? I try to resign myself to God's will: but I shall remember him till the end of my days, with unspeakable sorrow. He was like sunshine in my life; so that life without him seemed all one dull gray, till the baby came, and brought me back to the sunlight, and gave me new duties, new cares!"