Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
GEORGE (_coming down_ C.). Really, Olivia, I really think we could
discuss this better if Mr. Strange took Dinah out for a walk. Strange, If
you--er----
OLIVIA. Tell them what you have settled first, George.
LADY MARDEN. Settled? What is there to be settled? It settles itself.
GEORGE (_sadly_). That's just it.
LADY MARDEN. The marriage must be annulled--is that the word, George?
GEORGE. I presume so. (_Sits on stool_ C.)
LADY MARDEN. One's solicitor will know all about that, of course.
BRIAN. And when the marriage has been annulled, what then?
LADY MARDEN. Presumably Olivia will return to her husband.
BRIAN (_bitterly to_ LADY MARDEN). And _that's_ morality! As expounded by
Bishop Landseer!
GEORGE (_angered, rising and facing_ BRIAN). I don't know what you mean
by Bishop Landseer. Morality is acting in accordance with the Laws of the
Land and the Laws of the Church. I am quite prepared to believe that your
creed embraces neither marriage (DINAH _gives a little cry and bangs a
cushion on settee angrily_) nor monogamy, but my creed is different.
BRIAN (_fiercely_). My creed includes both marriage and monogamy, and
monogamy means sticking to the woman you love, as long as she wants you.
LADY MARDEN (_calmly_). You suggest that George and Olivia should go on
living together, although they have never been legally married. Bless the
man, what do you think the County would say?
BRIAN (_scornfully_). Does it matter?
DINAH. Well, if you really want to know, the men would say, "Gad, she's a
fine woman; I don't wonder he sticks to her," and the women would say, "I
can't _think_ what he sees in her to stick to her like that," and they'd
both say, "After all, he may be a damn fool, but you can't deny he's a
sportsman."
(LADY MARDEN _is very indignant_.)
GEORGE (_indignantly_). Was it for this sort of thing Olivia, that you
insisted on having Dinah and Mr. Strange in here? To insult me in my own
house?
LADY MARDEN. I can't think what young people are coming to nowadays.
OLIVIA. I think, dear, you and Brian had better go.
DINAH (_getting up_). We will go. (_Crossing below_ OLIVIA _and putting
her knee on stool and looking cheekily up into_ GEORGE's _face_.) But I'm
just going to say one thing, Uncle George. Brian and I _are_ going to
marry each other, and when we are married we'll stick to each other,
however many of our dead husbands and wives turn up! Come on, Brian.
(_She goes up_ C. _and through window and goes out indignantly, followed
by_ BRIAN R.)
(GEORGE _follows them up_.)
GEORGE. Upon my word, this is a pleasant discussion.
OLIVIA. I think the discussion is over, George. It is only a question of
where I shall go, while you are bringing your--what sort of suit did you
call it?
LADY MARDEN (_to_ GEORGE). Nullity suit. I suppose that _is_ the best
thing?
GEORGE. It's horrible. (_Moving down between stool and_ LADY MARDEN.) The
awful publicity. That it should be happening to _us_, that's what I can't
get over.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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