Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
OLIVIA. It was Mr. Pim who told us about my husband. He came across with
him in the boat, and recognized him as the Telworthy he knew in
Australia.
LADY MARDEN. Oh! Shall I be in the way? (_Moving down to_ R.C.)
GEORGE. No, no. It doesn't matter, does it, Olivia?
OLIVIA. Please stay.
(LADY MARDEN _sits_ R. _settee_.)
(ANNE _enters at double doors followed by_ MR. PIM.)
ANNE. Mr. Pim.
GEORGE (_pulling himself together_). Ah, Mr. Pim! Very good of you to
have come.
PIM. Oh, not at all!
GEORGE. The fact is--er--(_It is too much for him; he looks despairingly
at_ OLIVIA.)
OLIVIA. We're so sorry to trouble you, Mr. Pim. By the way, do you know
Lady Marden?
PIM (_centre_). No, I haven't the honour.
GEORGE (_introducing_). My Aunt! Mr. Pim.
(MR. PIM _and_ LADY MARDEN _bow to each other_.)
OLIVIA. Do come and sit down, won't you? (_Pim is moving to_ L., _turns
and bumps into_ GEORGE, _who is following him. She makes room for him on
the sofa next to her_.) The fact is, Mr. Pim, you gave us rather a
surprise this morning, and before we had time to realize what it all
meant, you had gone.
PIM. A surprise, Mrs. Marden? Dear me, not an unpleasant one, I hope?
OLIVIA. Well, rather a--surprising one. (LADY MARDEN _coughs_.)
(_Pim sits to_ R. _of_ OLIVIA, _who takes his hat and places it to her_
L.)
GEORGE (_turns to_ LADY MARDEN). Olivia, allow me a moment. Mr. Pim, you
mentioned a man called Telworthy this morning. My wife used to (LADY
MARDEN _gives a pronounced cough_)--that is to say, I used to--that is,
there are reasons--
OLIVIA. I think we had better be perfectly frank, George.
LADY MARDEN (_aggressively_). I am sixty-five years of age, Mr. Pim, and
I can say that I've never had a moment's uneasiness by (_beating her knee
with her hand, stick in left hand_) telling the truth.
(PIM _and_ LADY MARDEN _fix each other with a look_. PIM _then looks at_
OLIVIA _and_ GEORGE _and leans back on settee_.)
PIM (_after a desperate effort to keep up with the conversation_). Oh!...
I--er--I'm afraid I am rather at sea. Have I--er--left anything unsaid in
presenting my credentials to you this morning?
GEORGE _and_ OLIVIA Oh, no!
PIM. This Telworthy whom you mention--I seem to remember the name--
OLIVIA. Mr. Pim, you told us this morning of a man whom you had met on
the boat, a man who had come down in the world, whom you had known in
Sydney. A man called Telworthy.
PIM (_relieved_). Ah, yes, yes, of course. (_To_ OLIVIA.) I did say
Telworthy, didn't I? Most curious coincidence, Lady Marden. Poor man,
poor man! Let me see, it must have been ten years ago--
GEORGE. Just a moment, Mr. Pim. You're quite sure that his name was
Telworthy?
PIM (_to_ GEORGE). Telworthy--Telworthy--didn't I say Telworthy? Yes,
that was it--Telworthy. Poor fellow!
OLIVIA. I'm going to be perfectly frank with you, Mr. Pim. I feel quite
sure that I can trust you.
PIM. Oh, Mrs. Marden!
OLIVIA. This man Telworthy whom you met is my husband.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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