Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
OLIVIA (_pointedly_). You and Mrs. Telworthy! (_Moves slowly round back
of settee_ L.)
(GEORGE _moves to centre_.)
GEORGE (_nonplussed_). Oh--er--yes--yes--perhaps I'd better stay at my
Club--yes! It will be a bit awkward at first. (_With a sigh of relief_.)
However, nobody need know, and how much better than what we feared!
(OLIVIA _comes down to below settee_ L.)
GEORGE (_advancing to embrace her_). Olivia! Olivia!
(_She repulses him and he crosses to her_ L.)
OLIVIA. Mrs. Telworthy!
GEORGE. Yes--yes, I know, but why do you keep on saying it? What's the
matter with you? You're so strange to-day. You're not like the Olivia I
know.
OLIVIA (_sits on settee to_ R.). Perhaps you don't know me so very well,
after all.
GEORGE (_sitting--affectionately to her_ L.). Oh, that's nonsense--old
girl. You're just my Olivia. Now we can get married again quietly and
nobody will be any the worse.
OLIVIA. Married again! Oh, I see, you want me to marry you at a registry
office to-morrow?
GEORGE. If we can arrange it by then. (_Rising and crossing below_ OLIVIA
_to centre_.) I don't know how long these things take, but I should
imagine there would be no difficulty.
OLIVIA. Oh, no, I think that part of it ought to be quite _easy_. But--
(_She hesitates_.)
GEORGE. But what?
OLIVIA. Well, if you want to marry me to-morrow, George, oughtn't you to
propose to me first?
GEORGE (_amazed_). Propose?
OLIVIA. Yes. It is usual, isn't it, to propose to a person before you
marry her? And--and we want to do the usual thing, don't we?
GEORGE (_upset_). But you--I mean we--
OLIVIA. You are George Marden, I am Olivia Telworthy, you are attracted
by me and think I would make you a good wife, and you want to marry me--
very well, then, naturally you propose to me first.
GEORGE (_falling into the humour of it, as he thinks, and with a hearty
laugh moves to below stool_ L.C.). The baby! Did she want to be proposed
to all over again?
OLIVIA (_coyly_). Well, she did rather.
GEORGE (_rather fancying himself as an actor, he adopts what he considers
to be an appropriate attitude_). She shall then. Er--ah, Mrs. Telworthy,
I have long admired you in silence, and the time has now come to put my
admiration into words (_but apparently he finds a difficulty_)--er--er--
OLIVIA (_looking up at him quizzically and prompting him into words;
repeating_). I--I--(_Looking down coyly_.) Oh, Mr. Marden!
(GEORGE _roars with laughter and crosses to centre_.)
GEORGE (_returning to her_). Olivia--er--may I call you Olivia?
OLIVIA. Yes, George.
(OLIVIA _puts out her hand and_ GEORGE _notices it_.)
GEORGE. I beg your pardon! Oh, I see. (_Taking her hand in his he gives
it a good slap and she winces_.) Olivia, I--(_Hesitates_.)
OLIVIA. I don't want to interrupt, but oughtn't you to be on your knees?
It is--usual, I believe. GEORGE. Really, Olivia, you must allow me to
manage my own proposal in my own way.
OLIVIA (_meekly--and resuming her coyness_). I'm sorry. Do go on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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