Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing — John Shaqi
Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing
General
Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing
Boats and boating -- Humor; English wit and humor; English wit and humor, Pictorial
Much trouble with the Generalissimo. When he came aboard at Marseilles
he suffused the ship with pleasing sense of the military supremacy of
Great Britain. Has seen more than seventy summers, but still walks with
sprightly step and head erect. The long droop of his carefully-curled
iron-grey moustache is of itself sufficient to excite terror in the
bosom of the foe. The Generalissimo has not the word retreat in his
vocabulary. He was one of the six who to-night sat at the dinner-table
and deftly caught scraps of meat and vegetable as the plates flew past.
But after dinner he collapsed. Thought he had retired to his berth;
towards nine o'clock a faint voice from the far end of the cabin led to
discovery of him prone on the floor, where he had been flung from one of
the benches. We got him up, replaced him tenderly on the bench, making a
sort of barricade on the offside with bolsters. A quarter of an hour
later the ship gave a terrible lurch to leeward; the screw hoarsely
shrieked; another batch of crockery crashed down; above the uproar, a
faint voice was heard moaning, "Oh, dear! Oh, dear!"
We looked at the bench where we had laid the Generalissimo, his martial
cloak around him. Lo! he was not.
Guided by former experience, we found him under the table. Evidently no
use propping him up. So with the cushions we made a bed on the floor,
and the old warrior securely slept, soothed by the swish of the water
that crossed and recrossed the cabin floor as the ship rolled to leeward
or to starboard.
When the Generalissimo came aboard at Marseilles, surveying the
fortifications of the harbour as if he intended storming them, his
accent suggested that if not of foreign birth, he had lived long in
continental courts and camps. Odd to note how, as his physical
depression grew, an Irish accent softened his speech, till at length he
murmured of misery in the mellifluous brogue of County Cork.
Pretty to see the steward when the flood in the saloon got half a foot
deep ladle it out with a dustpan.
_Tunis, Monday_, 1 A.M.--Just limped in here with deck cargo washed
overboard, bulwarks stove in, engine broken down, an awesome list to
port, galley so clean swept the cook doesn't know it, the cabins
flooded, and scarce a whole bit of crockery in the pantry. Twenty-one
hours late; not bad on a thirty-six-hours' voyage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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