Captain comforts us with assurance that having crossed the Mediterranean man and boy for forty years, he never went through such a storm. Have been at sea a bit myself; only once, coasting in a small steamer off Japan, have I seen--or, since it was in the main pitch dark, felt--anything like it. Generalissimo turned up at dinner last night, his moustache a little draggled, but his port once more martial. His chief lament is, that going down to his berth yesterday morning, having spent Friday night in the security of the saloon floor, he found his boots full of water. This brings out chorus of heartrending experience. Every cabin flooded; boxes and portmanteaus floating about. Sark and I spent a more or less cosy night in the saloon. To us entered occasionally one of the crew ostentatiously girt with a life-belt. Few incidents so soothing on such a night. Fortunately, we did not hear till entering port how in the terror of the night two conscripts, bound for Bizerta, jumped overboard and were seen no more. "If this is the way they usually get to Tunis," says Sark, "I hope the French will keep it all to themselves. In this particular case, there is more in the Markiss's 'graceful concession' than meets the eye." * * * * * RIVER GAMBLING.--"Punting," says the _Daily News_, "has become a very fashionable form of amusement on the Upper Thames." So it is at Monte Carlo. Punting is given up by all who find themselves in hopelessly low water. * * * * * LIVE WHILE YOU MAY.--_Timid Passenger_ (_as the gale freshened_). "Is there any danger?" _Tar_ (_ominously_). "Well, them as likes a good dinner had better hev it to-day!" * * * * * SATISFACTORY.--We are glad to be able to report that the gentleman who one day last week, while walking on the bank of the Thames near Henley, fell in with a friend, is doing well. His companion is also progressing favourably. * * * * * [Illustration: TOO SOLID _Skipper._ "Did ye got the proveesions Angus?" _Angus._ "Ay, ay! A half loaf, an' fouer bottles o' whiskey." _Skipper._ "An' what in the woarld will ye be doin' wi' aal that bread?"] * * * * * [Illustration: RESIGNATION _Sympathetic Old Gentleman._ "I'm sorry to see your husband suffer so, ma'am. He seems very----" _Lady Passenger_ (_faintly_). "Oh dear! He isn't my husband. 'Sure I don't know who the ge'tleman is!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A FLIGHT OF FANCY _Visitor._ "Good morning: tide's very high this morning, eh?" _Ancient Mariner._ "Ar, if the sea was all _beer_, there wouldn' be no bloomin' 'igh tides!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A QUESTION OF HOSPITALITY AT HENLEY "Unbidden guests are often welcomest when they are gone."--_Shakespeare._] * * * * * [Illustration: A DELICIOUS SAIL--OFF DOVER