Moderate. Yes. Perhaps a little brandy-and-water _would_ be a good thing. Sea slight. The _very_ roughest passage I remember. But I am an excellent sailor. Still, would you mind putting out that cigar? Rather Rough. It's simply disgraceful. The _Castalia_ ought to be established by Act of Parliament. Shall write to the _Times_. I shall go down below--to think about it! Rough Oh! Here, somebody! Will it be more--than five minutes? Oh! oh! oh! Very Rough. (_Far too dreadful for description._) * * * * * [Illustration: EASTER RECREATIONS _Enthusiastic Skipper_ (_to friend_). "Ah, my boy! this is what you wanted. In a short time you'll feel yourself a different man!"] * * * * * RIVERSIDE SUNDAY Unnumbered are the trees that fling O'er Pangbourne Reach their shade, Unnumbered there the birds that sing Melodious serenade; But as the leaves upon the boughs Or feathers on the birds, So are the trippers who carouse Along the banks in herds. Punt, centre-board, launch, skiff, canoe, Lunch-laden hither hie, Each bearing her expectant crew To veal and chicken-pie; And from the woods around Hart's Lock Reports ring loud and clear, As trippers draw the festive hock Or democratic beer. From one to three, below, above, Is heard the crisp, clear crunch Of salad, as gay Damons love To linger over lunch. From three to six a kettle sings 'Neath every sheltering tree As afternoon to Phyllis brings The magic hour of tea. Well may the Cockney fly the Strand For this remoter nest, Where buses cease from rumbling and The motors are at rest. But would you shun your fellows--if To quiet you incline-- Oh, rather scull your shilling skiff Upon the Serpentine. * * * * * [Illustration: PRO BONO PUBLICO _Brown (passenger by the Glasgow steamer, 8.30 a.m.)._ "I beg pardon, sir, but I think you've made a mistake. That is my tooth-brush!" _McGrubbie (ditto)._ "Ah beag years, mun, ah'm sure. Ah thoght 't belanged to the sheip!!"] * * * * * NEW SAILING ORDERS (_To be in force on or after the next Ultimo instant_) _The Darkest Night._--Any man not knowing when the darkest night is will be discharged. Inquiries can be made any day at the Admiralty from 10 till 4, excepting from 1 till 2, when all hands are piped to luncheon. _The Rule of the Rowed_ at sea is similar to the rule of the sailed. No ship must come into collision with another.