_Smart (repressing something Shakspearian about "writing down" which occurs to him, continues pleasantly)._ Wrote you down? No, I said the piece was a bad one, because I thought it was; a very bad one. _Smooth._ Bad! (_Sarcastically._) You were the only man who said so. _Smart (very pleasantly)._ My dear fellow, _I was the only man who saw it._ Good-bye. [_Exeunt severally._ * * * * * MOTTO FOR A BOX-OFFICE KEEPER.--"So much for booking 'em." * * * * * "A considerable demonstration of approval greeted the fall of the curtain." How are we to take this? * * * * * [Illustration: "THE DESIRE OF THE MOTH FOR THE STAR."--_Mistress._ "And you dare to tell me, Belinda, that you have actually answered a _theatrical advertisement_? How _could_ you be such a _wicked_ girl?" _Belinda (whimpering)._ "Well, mum,--_other_ young lidies--gow on the--stige--why shouldn't _I_ gow?"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE COUNTER-CHECK QUARRELSOME.--_Mr. Æsopus Delasparre._ "I will ask you to favour me, madam, by refraining from laughing at me on the stage during my third act." _Miss Jones (sweetly)._ "Oh, but I assure you you're mistaken, Mr. Delasparre; I never laugh at you on the stage--I wait till I get home!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SWEEPING ASSERTION.--"The other night, at the Novelty Theatre, Mrs. Vere-Jones was gowned simply in a _clinging_ black velvet, with a cloak of same handsomely trimmed with ermine."--_Extract from Society Journal._] * * * * * DRAMATIC NOTES OF THE FUTURE [A little cheild is the hero of _Everybody's Secret_; the curtain rises upon four little cheildren in _Her Own Way_; there are cheildren of various ages in _Alice-Sit-by-the-fire_.] Mr. Barrie's new play, _The Admirable Crèche_, will be presented to-morrow. We understand that there is a pretty scene in the third act in which several grown-ups are discovered smoking cigars. It may confidently be predicted that all the world will rush to the "Duke of York's" to see this novelty. _The Admirable Crèche_ will be preceded at 8.30 by _Bassinette--A Plea for a Numerous Family_, a one-act play by Theodore Roosevelt and Louis N. Parker. Little Baby Wilkins is making quite a name with her wonderful rendering of "Perdita" in the Haymarket version of _A Winter's Tale_. As soon as actor-manager Wilkins realised the necessity of cutting the last two acts (in which "Perdita" is grown up) the play was bound to succeed. By the way, Mr. E. H. Cooper's new book, "Perditas I have Known," is announced.