[Illustration: PRIVATE THEATRICALS. A REHEARSAL.--_The Captain._ "At this stage of the proceedings I've got to kiss you, Lady Grace. Will your husband mind, do you think?" _Lady Grace._ "Oh no! It's for a _charity_, you know!"] * * * * * [Illustration: AN INFANT ROSCIUS.--_Stage Manager_ (_interviewing children with the idea of engaging them for a new play_). "Has this child been on the stage?" _Proud Mother._ "No; but he's been on an inquest, and he speaks up fine!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A SOLILOQUY.--_Tragedian._ "Cheap. Ha, ha! Why in my time they _threw_ them at us!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "Well, papa, how did you enjoy the play to-night?" "Oh, I think I enjoyed it fairly well, my dear. I've got a general sort of idea that I didn't go to sleep over it!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Enthusiastic Lady Amateur._ "Oh, what a pity! We've just missed the first act!" _Languid Friend._ "Have we? Ah--rather glad. I always think the chief pleasure of going to a theatre is trying to make out what the first act was about!"] * * * * * THEATRICAL.--When it is announced that an actor will be supported by the _entire_ company, it is not thereby meant that the said professional is sustained in his arduous part solely by draughts of Barclay, Perkins and Co. * * * * * The wretch who refuses to take his wife to the theatre deserves to be made to sit out a play. * * * * * GOOD "PIECE" OF FURNITURE FOR THEATRICAL MANAGERS.--A chest of "drawers." * * * * * REGENERATION OF THE BRITISH DRAMA.--There are at this moment three English managers in Paris "in search of novelty!" More: three distinguished members of the Dramatic Authors' Society started for France last night. * * * * * "AS GOOD AS A PLAY."--Performing a funeral. * * * * * A PLANT IN SEASON.--Now is the time of year when managers of theatres show a botanical taste, for there is not one of them who does not do his best to have a great rush at his doors. * * * * * THE DRAMATIC AUTHOR'S PLAYGROUND.--Paris. * * * * * THEATRICAL NOTE.--_Net_ profits are generally the result of a good "_cast_." * * * * * [Illustration] * * * * * [Illustration: "Shakspeare and the first Quart O"] * * * * * [Illustration: "Shakspeare and the last Quart O"] * * * * * A DUBIOUS COMPLIMENT.--_Rector's Wife_ (_after harvest festival_). Well, Mrs. Piggleswade, how did you like the Bishop's sermon?