"Where's Ramsgate? Where I've often seen. Both S-mb-rne and Du M-r-_er_, When I have gone by 3.15 Granville Express, Victori_er_. "With Thanet Harriers, when you are Well mounted on a pony, You'll say, for health who'd go so far As Cannes, Nice, or Mentone? "With Poland, of the Treasury, Recorder eke of Dover, I oft go down for pleasurey. Alack! 'tis too soon over! "O'er Thanet's Isle where'er you trudge, My Lud, you'll find no land which----" "Dickens take Ramsgate!" quote the Judge. "Luncheon! I'm off to Sandwich!" * * * * * [Illustration: A JUDGE BY APPEARANCE _Bathing Guide._ "Bless 'is 'art! I know'd he'd take to it kindly--by the werry looks on 'im!"] * * * * * THE WONDERS OF THE SEA-SHORE _Contributed by_ "GLAUCUS", _who is staying at a quiet watering-place, five miles from anywhere, and three miles from a Railway Station_. [Illustration] _Monday_(?) _after breakfast, lying on the beach._ Wonder if it is Monday, or Tuesday? Wonder what time it is? Wonder if it will be a fine day? Wonder what I shall do if it is? On second thoughts, wonder what I shall do if it isn't? Wonder if there are any letters? Wonder who that is in a white petticoat with her hair down? Wonder if she came yesterday or the day before? Wonder if she's pretty? Wonder what I've been thinking about the last ten minutes? Wonder how the boatmen here make a livelihood by lying all day at full length on the beach? Wonder why every one who sits on the shore throws pebbles into the sea? Wonder what there is for dinner? Wonder what I shall do all the afternoon? * * * * * _Same day, after lunch, lying on the beach._ Wonder who in the house beside myself is partial to my dry sherry? Wonder what there is for dinner? Wonder what's in the paper to-day? Wonder if it's hot in London? Should say it was. Wonder how I ever could live in London? Wonder if there's any news from America? Wonder what tooral looral means in a chorus? Children playing near me, pretty, very? Wonder if that little boy intended to hit me on the nose with a stone? Wonder if he's going to do it again? Hope not. Wonder if I should like to be a shrimp? * * * * * _Same day, after an early dinner, lying on the beach._ Wonder why I can never get any fish? Wonder why my landlady introduces cinders into the gravy? Wonder more than ever who there is at my lodgings so partial to my dry sherry? Wonder if that's the coast of France in the distance? Feel inclined for a quiet conversation with my fellow-man. [Illustration: EXMOUTH] A boatman approaches. I wonder (to the boatman) if it will be a fine day tomorrow? He wonders too? We both wonder together? Wonder (again to the boatman) if the rail will make much difference to the place? He shakes his head and says "Ah! he wonders!" and leaves me.