[Illustration: BANGOR] * * * * * WHAT THE WILD WAVES ARE SAYING That the lodging-house keepers are on the look out for the weary Londoners and their boxes. That the sea breezes will attract all the world from the Metropolis to the coast. That Britons should prefer Ramsgate, Eastbourne, Scarborough, and the like, to Dieppe, Dinard, and Boulogne. That paterfamilias should remember, when paying the bill, that a two months' letting barely compensates for an empty house during the remainder of the year. That the shore is a place of recreation for all but the bathing-machine horse. That the circulating libraries are stocked with superfluous copies of unknown novels waiting to be read. That, finally, during the excursion season, 'Arry will have to be tolerated, if not exactly loved. * * * * * [Illustration: [_The "Lancet" advocates taking holidays in Midwinter instead of Midsummer._] View of the sands of Anywhere-on-Sea if the suggestion is adopted. Time--December or January.] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mrs. Fydgetts_ (_screaming_). "My child! My child!" _Mr. Fydgetts._ "What's the use of making that noise? Can't you be quiet?" _Mrs. F._ "You're a brute, sir." _Mr. F._ "I wish I were; for then I should be able to swim." _Mrs. F._ "Mr. Fydgetts! Ain't you a-coming to help me?" _Mr. F._ "No! It serves you right for bringing me down to this stupid place." _Mrs. F._ "_I_, indeed. Why, I wanted to go to Brighton and you would come to Margate--you said it was cheaper." _Mr. F._ "It's false; I said no such thing." _Mrs. F._ "You did, you did!" _Mr. F._ "O, woman! woman! Where do you expect to go to?" _Mrs. F._ "To the bottom; unless you come and help me!" _Mr. F._ "Help yourself. I'm s-i-n-k-i-n-g"-- _Mrs. F._ "My child! My child!" _Mr. F._ (_rising from the water_). "Be quiet, can't you! Woo-o-m--" (_the rest is inaudible, but the watery pair are saved just in time, and renew their dispute in the boat as soon as they are rescued from their perilous position_).] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mabel_ (_soliloquising_). "Dear me, this relaxing climate makes even one's parasol seem too heavy to hold!"] * * * * * HOLIDAY HAUNTS _By Jingle Junior on the Jaunt_ I.--GREAT YARMOUTH [Illustration: PUFFINS]