"Let's get down, Sammy, let's get down at once," groaned Mr. Weller the elder. "I can't stand it, Samivel, I really can't. Think o' the poor 'osses, Sammy, think o' the poor 'osses as ain't there, and vot they must feel to find theirselves sooperseeded by a hugly vheel and a pennorth o' peteroleum, &c.!" "Hold on, old Nobs!" cried the son, with frank filial sympathy. "Think of the guv'nor, father, and vait for the first stoppage. Never again vith the Muggleton Motor! Vhy, it vorse than a hortomatic vheelbarrow, ain't it, Mr. Pickwick?" "Ah, Sammy," assented Mr. Weller, Senior, hugging his whip, affectionately. "Vorse even than vidders, Sammy, the red-nosed shepherd, or the Mulberry One hisself!" * * * * * A bear in a motor-car attracted much attention in the City last week. It had four legs this time. * * * * * The _Motor Car_ declares, on high medical authority, that motoring is a cure for insanity. We would therefore recommend several motorists we know to persevere. * * * * * Illustration: GENTLE SATIRE--"I say, Bill, look 'ere! 'Ere's a old cove out record-breaking!" * * * * * Illustration: MOTOR MANIA.-- _The Poet_ (_deprecatingly_). "They say she gives more attention to her motor-cars than to her children." _The Butterfly._ "Of course. How absurd you are! Motor-cars require more attention than children." * * * * * Illustration: SOUR GRAPES _First Scorcher._ "Call _that_ exercise?" _Second Scorcher._ "No. _I_ call it sitting in a draught!" * * * * * Illustration: NOT TO BE CAUGHT.-- _Motorist_ (_whose motor has thrown elderly villager into horse-pond_). "Come along, my man, I'll take you home to get dry." _Elderly Villager._ "No, yer don't. I've got yer number, and 'ere I stays till a hindependent witness comes along!" * * * * * Illustration: _Pedestrian._ "I hear Brown has taken to cycling, and is very enthusiastic about it!" _Cyclist._ "Enthusiastic! Not a bit of it. Why, he never rides before breakfast!" * * * * * Illustration: GROTESQUERIES _Words wanted to express feelings_ When your motor refuses to move, twenty miles from the nearest town. * * * * * Illustration: SO INCONSIDERATE "Jove! Might have killed us! I must have a wire screen fixed up." * * * * * BROWNING ON THE ROAD. Round the bend of a sudden came Z 1 3, And I shot into his front wheel's rim; And straight was a fine of gold for him, And the need of a brand-new bike for me. * * * * * Illustration: "IF DOUGHTY DEEDS MY LADY PLEASE" "Mamma! Mr. White says he is longing to give you your first bicycle lesson!" * * * * * A WISH